Ezra Miller Opens Up About Childhood Trauma and Contemplating Suicide

Though much of the buzz surrounding Ezra Miller’s recent Playboy shoot and interview focuses on his gender-bending attire, the “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald” star also got real about experiencing abuse in childhood and contemplating suicide.

“I’ve survived abuse for sure, for sure, in a lot of capacities, starting from a pretty young age,” he said. “There was a close friend who I had a sexual relationship with who really, really turned on me in a violent way.”

He shared that this experience drew him to his breakout role, Patrick, in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” In the film, Patrick is attacked by the high school football player he had been in a sexual relationship with.

Miller credits art with saving his life. “Art is the only thing that I have,” he told Playboy. “If I didn’t have art, I’d be so f*cking dead — so long ago, I’d be dead. I probably would have done it myself.”

Though Miller spoke of the abuse he experienced as a child and his contemplation of suicide separately, it’s worth mentioning that childhood sexual abuse is a strong predictor of suicidal ideation.

Miller, who identifies as queer, believes it’s important to acknowledge diversity in conversations surrounding abuse.

I’ve been attacked repeatedly in my life. … It’s really important to acknowledge the diversity of voices who have experienced this shit, and all genders, all capacities, all types of people. Everyone is victim to it. Everyone is a survivor of it.

If you or a loved one is affected by sexual abuse or assault and need help, call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.