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People Explain What It's Like to Have Suicidal Thoughts When You're Not Suicidal

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People in The Mighty’s mental health community describe what it’s like to have suicidal thoughts when you’re not actively suicidal.

Read the full version of 23 People Explain What It’s Like to Have Suicidal Thoughts When You’re Not Suicidal.

Read the full transcript:

People Explain What It’s Like to Have Suicidal Thoughts When You’re Not Suicidal

“It’s like randomly imagining what life around you would be like if you didn’t exist anymore.”

“Sometimes my anxiety causes me to feel trapped and overwhelmed. Thoughts of my death (not necessarily suicide) are a fantasy of escape.”

“They’re fleeting but frequent thoughts that attack you even when you feel completely fine.”

“It’s not like I want to end my life, like when I’m actively suicidal, but I don’t want to live. It’s lonely and it’s scary.”

“It’s like being trapped in a brain you’re unfamiliar with.”

“At my worst, the ‘other me’ in my head is shouting at me. It feels like it’s attacking my brain physically.”

“It’s not really the thought, ‘I want to kill myself,’ but more, ‘I don’t care if I die.’”

“It’s having this numbing ache inside you don’t know how to mute.”

“For me, it’s like the annoying devil character on your shoulder… like you are fine but this dark annoying thing keeps whispering into your ear these awful thoughts.”

There’s nothing shameful about having suicidal thoughts.

Help is out there.

If you or someone you know needs help, please reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling (800) 273-8255.

You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741-741.

Originally published: May 10, 2017
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