Hi everyone! I love the Mighty! Though, I am usually one to encourage others and not post
my own stuff. I deal with self doubt and thinking I might say something unrelatable. But here goes...because someone might relate and it’s something I want to get off my chest.

For years, I went to a therapist for mental health issues. I went 2x a week—for undividual and group therapy. At first for major depression/anxiety. And the first year or two she was really helpful, so I thought. Over time, she became less and less helpful and every time I told her I had gotten all I could out of therapy and the group ( I was there 9 years total) she told me I would fall apart and basically die without her. Part of that had to do with a bpd diagnosis that she had helped diagnose. And I did have some bpd traits at the time. But the crazy thing is she equated bpd with basically a life sentence—you must see someone (her) 2x a week because the diagnosis is too severe etc. Which looking back makes no sense.

Anyway, as time went on, I became more and more mentally ill (looking back now) and more and dependent on her—which is the exact opposite of how therapy should go. And also why I hesitated to talk about this topic for so long because I’ve actually had some really great therapists since I left the toxic one and I strongly believe in therapy being helpful (for the most part). Also, she would only see me if I also went to her group therapy. Group therapy was super confusing because we were made to say how great of a therapist she was—and she didn’t like dissent from that (even when I realized she was toxic). Anyway, super culty and brainwashy. My therapist also told me if I left and I hadn’t done the right therapeutic work with her—I would have a incomplete therapeutic record and it would mess with me being able to see a therapist in the future (if I wanted to be covered by insurance).

Luckily, I had a friend (who is a social worker) who helped me see that this therapist had some really skewed ideas. And basically no one can ever force you to stay in therapy unless it’s court ordered or along those lines. And it took awhile for me to see that—because I thought this therapist was only there to help me. I left this toxic therapist 5 years ago. And luckily I’ve had good therapeutic help since then. But it’s left some scars on me. I lost myself for years due to a narcissistic toxic therapist wanting me to believe that she was the only one who could save me...even though she was the one harming me. I mourn the time lost and I mourn my loss of self from being brainwashed.

I hope this experience hasn’t happened to anyone else. But I’m here to say I sympathize/empathize with anyone who has been taken advantage of and experienced trauma of any kind or pain really. We might not have the same story...but I can empathize with pain.

Here’s to radical acceptance of our pain and our journeys. I wish the best for everyone on here. Be well ❤️☮️ #emotionaltrauma #toxictherapy