How To Keep Up With Self-Care When You Have a Chronic Illness
The concept of self-care has become more mainstream in the past decade, especially online. It’s been popularized on social media, in long thought pieces and even in movies and pop songs. At this point, self-care is a term that has transcended any one meaning. In fact, it’s like a cherry blossom. New ideas and concepts are continually being carried and spread to new communities, like petals in a spring breeze. However, the roots of self-care are still present and central. Drinking water, getting plenty of sleep and taking time to destress still make up the core foundation of self-care, but there are so many other philosophies about practicing self-care too. It’s a challenge to define it, but maybe that isn’t the point. After all, clearly defining self-care can be more slick than a slab of soap.
After five years of living with ulcerative colitis and meeting others in the chronic illness community, I’ve learned that no two patient stories are the same. The same idea applies to self-care. Self-care is different for everyone, and everyone practices it differently. The key to establishing a healthy and sustainable self-care routine is to find activities that work for you.
Life with a chronic illness is unpredictable and chaotic. As a result, it can be tough to keep up a self-care regimen. On top of that, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by expectations of what self-care should be and feel like for an individual. It’s easy to get lost in the sea of Instagram graphics and self-help books. In those moments, it’s important to understand your specific situation and remember that self-care isn’t one thing–and it isn’t always glamorous either. It comes in different forms and looks different for everyone. At the end of the day, self-care should feel natural and comfortable. If it’s not, consider changing up what you practice.
One of the biggest challenges of living with ulcerative colitis is maintaining a sense of normalcy. Whether I’m in a flare or remission, so much of my life can feel uncertain. My energy levels ebb and flow through the hours, days and weeks without warning. Pain gnaws at me and then fizzles out unexpectedly. In the midst of all of this, managing my health can feel overwhelming. Yet, it’s something I do every day in order to live a “normal” life. Self-care is a tool in the toolbox I use to maintain my health. It’s the thread that stitches me back together after a difficult day. It’s the polish that coats the scratches and scars I carry with me. It’s a garnish that makes me shiny and brand new, after I’ve been feeling worn and rugged all week. Self-care is something I do on top of everything else I do for my health. It’s the cherry on top of the sundae made of medications, doctor’s appointments and other therapies.
One tactic that helps me is to break self-care down into smaller acts of kindness I perform for myself, rather than one big abstract thing. For example, instead of trying to drink eight glasses of water a day, I start drinking one glass of water first thing in the morning. Taking small steps helps me figure out what’s most important in terms of my specific self-care needs. I find that mixing up what I do for myself helps keep my routine fresh and makes it easier for me to stay engaged. Recently, I’ve been trying to develop a more consistent exercise schedule. My long-term fitness goals are to complete a long-distance, multi-day hiking trip and run a half marathon. My mid-term fitness goals are to improve the time it takes me to run a mile and to be able to run longer distances. My immediate fitness goal is to use exercise to feel better and release tension, stress and other difficult emotions. More and more, I realize that my long-term self-care goals aren’t really goals at all; they’re outcomes I’d like to achieve. In reality, I’ve already reached my most important goal. When I run or exercise, I feel better, which is the most important thing to me. The more distant outcomes and objectives I’m seeking will come later by merely following the path I’m already on. Breaking down self-care into smaller, more actionable steps makes it easier to prioritize what’s important and what’s not essential. In turn, you can achieve bigger goals related to your personal, social and professional life.
While it’s normal to be ambitious and have goals to strive toward, I’ve learned that self-care also requires balance. Nowadays, there’s a lot of pressure to be constantly productive. It’s especially prevalent online, often concealed in a colorful shell with technicolor graphics and syrupy quotes, daring the viewer to take a bite. These graphics can sometimes send the message that if you’re not busy, you’re not productive or wasting your time. It can be a difficult lesson to learn and accept (I still struggle with it), but doing nothing is productive. The truth is that from nothingness comes inspiration, growth and success. Breakshelp us stop and catch our breath. They help us avoid burnout. They keep everything from spilling over. This is why I don’t force anything, self-care included. If I can’t run a mile, I run a half-mile. If I can’t run a half-mile, I run a few blocks. If I can’t run a few blocks, I walk. If I can’t walk or simply prefer to do something else, I do the other thing instead. Simply put, I balance the hard parts of self-care with the more manageable pieces. I watch Netflix and sleep late when I want to, I stretch when I want to, and I read when I want to.
I’m constantly practicing self-care as an individual living with ulcerative colitis. The same is true for anyone else living with any other chronic illness. This is another reason I forgive myself when I fail to live up to my expectations or others’ expectations. For someone living with a chronic illness, self-care goes beyond what most people think of self-care. Self-care is deciding not to go out to the club with friends, even though you may really want to, because you know you need rest. Self-care is going to the doctor when you’re not feeling well, instead of going to work. Self-care is advocating for yourself and for others. Remember that you know your body best, and you decide the direction your path takes. Self-care is important for all of us, but we all take care of ourselves in different ways. With that said, remember that you are not alone. There are so many other people in the world who care about you besides yourself.