*Disclaimer: This is Me pouring out every word on my mind last night, half asleep.

As noted on here, I’ve been working on problems that mainly deal with my own, ever-changing narrative. Nothing will ever be perfect but I do my best to try to reach my goals and be successful in small steps. Add in my mental illnesses and I’m wiped out.

I’ve always wanted to help others like me and to make a positive change in someone, make them feel like a worthy being. This is a lifelong task. When I help others I learn about that person, illnesses if applicable, and ways to help them start recovery. I feel so fulfilled when I can reach at least one person.

While I’m battling my own demons, it seems as if our human maker up in the skies or whatever has some sort of hidden key that will allow someone to have a life with less difficult tasks so one can fulfill their life without so much internal noise.

But in reality that key is hidden for forever, maybe as a test. A test across our lifetimes, with all of the obstacles that can be means of success or a way to learn information for yourself or how to help others. In contrast, this test can ruin your goals, hiding in the back of your mind, constantly whispering.

I promise I didn’t carry one this time for no reason; All of this relates to one another. When I was in school, K-12, I hated American history. We learned of some important figures, but that was greatly outweighed by the absolute filth that people can populate. Racism, sexism, and so many other revolting actions took place, capturing the minds of families across the country. I hated it, especially as a mixed race woman. I’ve been chastised become in different, as well as my sister. I protect my little sister in anyway I can/when she needs, but I feel like I take some racism, which is wrong, but if someone is an ignorant prick to her my eyes become red because I love her and I will not stand for that behavior.

It’s so much easier to learn and pay attention to the past so we can make changes, one by one, in order to become a better society, strengthening our culture, fighting all of that negativity that should exist in 2022. I don’t believe that it will ever end, but step by step we can transform into a country with empathy and patience.

This is a fraction of how my typical day goes. I am extremely exhausted and wish that I could have a weekend alone for self-care, so that I could reset for all of the previous scenarios.

THEN this utter bullshit event that Roe V. Wade was overturned. I barely put the news on and I felt such anger, disgust, worthlessness, and so many other feelings. I couldn’t help but become weak, seething, finishing with a good cry.

These pendejos are brainwashed, set in their older ways without wanting to adapt the laws that reflect the population. We all have our opinions, but we’ve all had a friend who has listened to us when we thought we were having reproductive and were scared. We’ve all had the friends that would make sure they would be at your appointments, while offering comfort or even holding your hand. You cadhdashdan’t tell me that these less than competent, souless women have never had those experiences. They’re letting men heavily influence their their such easy discussions, turning into nimrods, instead of using theirs own cognitive development. They need to take a stand for all issues so that, once again, so that we so dont repeat history over and over agin. It’s imperative that you study and then collaborate with others to get the best education so that you can help the cause, rather than continue this external and interior informariion.
My incoherent thought process weighed weighed so much.!. So many thoughts. #Bipolar 1 with psychotic features #Womensrightsj