writingredemption

in these difficult times
you’re at work – writing redemption –
but where do you want me
to set my eyes?

troubles overwhelm and surround
bombard
we’re bullied by consequences and circumstance
and it feels like there’s no friendly ally
on which to set my eyes.

i know you have a purpose and plan for us
- even in the middle of temporary storms -
please, give me the wisdom
the strength
to set my eyes
on Jesus.

© Mark Bryant 31 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption
#difficulttimes

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2 Corinthians 4:18
So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Ephesians 1:10-11
And this is the plan: At the right time he will bring everything together under the authority of Christ—everything in heaven and on earth. Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.

1 Peter 1:20
God chose him as your ransom long before the world began, but now in these last days he has been revealed for your sake.

Strengthen my heart.

You know I am as fully committed to you as I can be.
I’m not perfect. I’m a sinner,
but as best as I can
I’m committed to you.

Strengthen my heart.

I know you’re writing a form of redemption.
It’s not the one that I want to see
and therefore, I think I am forsaken.
Because the smallest plan I have in my mind
doesn’t come to pass,
I give up.
I sulk like a child,
and expect you to be my genie.

Strengthen my heart.

My faith wavers from firm to feather.
Whether emotions or fragile foundations,
I just see the storm.
I sense the boat.
I wonder if you’re even here,
and I don’t know where I’m going.

Strengthen my heart.
Please, strengthen my heart.

© Mark Bryant 30 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption

2 Chronicles 16:9a
The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

2 Corinthians 5:7
For we live by believing and not by seeing.

I need wisdom. I really do!
And refuge!
And safety!
I’m finding it so hard
to release my fears and doubt
and just trust -
Simply trust.

You’ve got it all worked out
when I just see it as fucked,
because I just see
the consequences and predicament -
the current circumstances -
and I find it hard to trust -
Simply trust.

I want you to write redemption
in these difficult times
but I’m scared.
I’m scared that you don’t care
or that you’re making things hard to spite me.
I’m most scared of my flailing accusations
and hurtful words.
I’m finding it hard to trust -
Simply trust.

In my spirit, I believe you’re working good
in this all for everyone,
but I’m tired.
I need you to break through in me,
hold me in the palm of your hand -
even as I find it so hard to trust -
Simply trust.

© Mark Bryant 29 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
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#writingredemption
#difficulttimes
#palmofyourhand

Psalm 91:2
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.

James 1:5
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

[redacted]
I don’t know how to help you.
I advocate for you
but I’m reaching my limits.

The pain and sorrow -
consequences -
I need to be gone.
Heaven can’t come quick enough.

Holy Spirit, be my guide.
Advocate for me in this rough patch.
Assure me that you’re writing redemption
in this mess.
in this absolute mess.

Truth.

What is it that you’re wanting to teach me,
trying to remind me of?

© Mark Bryant 28 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption

John 14:26
But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.

Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

“Patient endurance.”
Oh Lord! Do I really need it?
Couldn’t you just snap your fingers
or in a single breath, blow our troubles away?

Forgive me for speaking rashly.
I would rather you do your perfect work
and write redemption into this.

I certainly want to do and know your will,
but we’re walking by faith
and it’s only in hindsight that we can see
how you’ve carried us,
provided for us.

Every day I just put one foot in front of the other,
not knowing if I’m doing the right thing.
Household chores, daily devotions,
poetic reflections, and worry.
I think I’ve found the odd one out.

Forgive me
for not trusting that you’ve got this.
You’ve got us
and you’re never gonna let us go.

© Mark Bryant 27 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption

Hebrews 10:36
Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

The waves keep rocking my boat
– swamping it –
and it doesn’t feel like I’m held
safe, in the palm of your hand.

I even get tired of writing my thoughts down
because they betray me
and reveal my imperfections.
I find it hard to trust
and I give into temptation too easily.

Maybe these words will be a dull reflection
of your perfect work of writing redemption?

Right now, I need some encouragement.

I’m pushed and pulled by waves,
liquid fists that appear to
grasp,
crush,
and throw away.
But the ocean
can’t grasp.
can’t crush.
can’t throw.

It wraps its hands around me,
and though I feel the bruising pressure,
the harder it grasps,
the less grip it has.
It can’t overwhelm me.

Something solid has me
in the middle of the boat,
in the middle of the storm.
Something is holding me steadfast,
like a lighthouse weathering a force 12 storm.

Waves like mountains crash against it
but it patiently endures.
No storm will ever be the end of it.
It will provide its beacon of light and hope
for generations to come.

© Mark Bryant 26 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption
#palmofyourhand

James 1:2-4,12
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I’m so dearly loved, but I’m finding it hard,
in the middle of difficult times and transition.
Innocent victims, suffering for the sins of others,
revealing more of the darkness within me.

But I’m reminded, Jesus died for me at my worst
- all of us actually -
and His love is not based on a flawless, shiny façade.
No need to touch up my blemishes
or photoshop my projected image.
He died, so I can be real,
and I really need Him.

There’s no condemnation,
‘cos Christ died to redeem eternally lost lives,
so surely he can write redemption in this mess.
A different kind of photoshop.
Turning the bad snapshots
into beautiful panoramas
with incredible dynamics.

So please, perfect Creator,
photoshop this mess
into something that glorifies you.

© Mark Bryant 25 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption
#difficulttimes

Romans 5:3-11
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

I’m standing in the courtyard of the old castle.
I knock on the old wooden doors –
still solid and secure.
I believe it’s safer inside.
I imagine the fireplace is inviting,
away from the winter blasts
or the arrows of the enemy.
There’s an enormous dining table,
filled with good things
and the openness of the host
to invite me in.

It seems that physically and emotionally,
I’m still outside,
knocking,
pleading.
The freezing winds chill me to the bone,
and attacks wound me
with hopelessness and despair.

Buried beneath my feelings
– the fog of the finite –
my spirit is alive.
It knows that we are safe.
It knows that we are loved.
It knows that in the mess of sin,
something good is growing.
There’s a writing of redemption
– not in the fruit of sin, but –
in the fruit of God’s goodness,
working things for our good.

I’m invited in.
I warm myself by the fire
in a comfy, oversized chair.
I pour out my heart to my gracious host.
He serves me what I need
to nourish me in my sorrows.
He listens, He cares, He understands.

He listens.
He cares.
He understands.

My Refuge!

© Mark Bryant 24 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption

Psalm 62:5-8
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honour come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Interlude

it’s hard sometimes
to trust, in the face of fear
when the things we hold so dear
are clouded with doubt and old-school rhymes
that tell you, “you don’t deserve anything good.”

I just want to enjoy life and work with wood
but I’m afraid I’ll be misunderstood
forced and enslaved to toil
gripped in a python’s coil
with no escape but to repeat
the heat of pressure and cold feet.

I need to trust, in the face of fear
that God has been with us all this year.
it’s been tough, but God has collected every tear
and even when we felt alone, he’s always been near
He’s writing redemption in the mess

I must confess
that even though times seem bleak
we’ve survived another week
and I believe that the best is yet to come
so I stick out my raised thumb
and trust, in the face of fear.

© Mark Bryant 23 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
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#oldschoolrhymes

Psalm 56:3-4, 8-13
But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side! I praise God for what he has promised; yes, I praise the Lord for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? I will fulfill my vows to you, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for your help. For you have rescued me from death; you have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in your presence, O God, in your life-giving light.

Christ Jesus meets my needs.
In the pain, He’s sowing seeds.
Through the sorrow and the grief,
I hope tomorrow brings relief.
The consequences of sin affect us all
and see us stoop instead of walking tall.
One day, it’ll be over, and you won’t believe the yield
that we’ll see in eternal heaven, rather than this finite field.

It seems like we don’t have a choice.
It feels like no-one hears our voice.
In the darkness – in despair –
can what’s broken be repaired?
What else is there that can be taken –
that would make us feel more forsaken?
The weapons that the circumstances and consequences wield
are chopping us down and mulching us up, on this finite field.

Knowing that things could always be worse
doesn’t bring comfort beneath the weight of the curse.
And counting blessings is really quite hard
When all – bar the horizon – seems a barren yard.
Yet, God’s promises are true! Oh, may I pass the test
and allow you to work and do whatever you deem the best,
‘cos one day, it’ll all be over, and we’ll actually see the yield
from your writing of redemption on this finite field

© Mark Bryant 22 August, 2019

#MightyPoets
#MentalHealth
#Depression
#Anxiety
#overcome
#writingredemption

Philippians 4:19
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.