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Behind the Looking Glass
“One day, all will be left are my bones will I then be enough? ... thin enough."
We want people to view us,
follow and like us.
apply makeup to disguise us
then post it on Instagram and Facebook
Impersonate someone else, we fake a persona,
Yet appear as a villain, with the biggest of ego.
all we want is to feel loved and accepted,
yet we worry will be constantly rejected.
So, we change who we are,
we become someone else.
Were corrupted by judgement,
we criticize ourselves.
Isolate ourselves behind that dirty, dim display,
as we take-in tweets in an emotional kind of way.
Never believe when you hear those words…
“I’M FINE!”.
It’s easier to say when we hurt on the inside.
If we highlight our struggles all over the web,
will anyone notice? Or will it be when we’re dead.
We put on that fake smile because inside we bleed,
And inside ourselves we feel never complete.
All it takes is a single person to notice,
how truly broken someone is.
Yet we’re all broken but no one admits it,
so, we all try to hide it because its too hard to fix it.
Here is my story and it could be yours too,
of daily life struggles, we can relate and subscribe to.
Too many stories stay silent because we feel fear and anxious,
its social media, media, our society that labels mental illness.
There was a time,
she lit the skies,
Emotionally terrified,
Destroyed by afflictions,
Of darkness in her life.
Carrier of burdens
of too many storms,
and flooded fears
that no-one even knows.
Ran countless times
but all she found,
Is nowhere to hide
Only one way out.
Misery, pain she’s left behind,
Till she suffered much blight.
A grave is now in sight,
Deaths by her side,
Lived to survive,
Sentenced for life.
Defeated suicide,
Inside her mind.
Her Mask disguised,
Her hopeful demise.
A slave to her body,
And slowly withering,
Away into nothing.
She doesn’t see
She’s worth being happy.
But the burdens she carries,
creates such trauma and pain.
Plus, the scars on her body,
The mirror makes her see.
As she prays that one day,
The pain will just go away.
Despite her screams for help,
She wastes away, never good enough.
The mirror is all she has,
With tainted words and toxic love,
her voice comes forth…
“Say what you mean,
I will not hurt,
I’m a human being.
This mirror before me,
covers thee.
As I show myself through this mirror,
you’ll never see... see the real me”
Look at her,
But a scarred reflection.
All you’ll ever see,
is a stale image with mixed emotions.
Reminded by failures,
day after day.
Satisfied, in control,
she slowly fades away.
Hiding behind isolation,
her eyes hollow and lifeless.
She’s headed six feet under,
feeling It’s for the best.
Lost, confused, mad…
“IF YOU NEVER CARED, WHY DO YOU NOW?”
HER PAIN IS REAL, SHE’S NEARLY DEAD!
Afraid of her own skin,
her voice is but a whisper.
As her body’s slowly weaken,
Her suicide?... her murder?
Such obsession becomes her poison.
“But I’m the perfect version, of what’s on your television,”
Her reflection, her mask, her disguise,
desperate for perfection.
You can’t see behind her eyes,
she’s lost herself in flawed attraction.
So, she cuts the fat away,
continued cycles of guilt.
Releasing tears of shame,
and always misunderstood.
Will she ever get to 80 pounds?
This being her blessing in disguise.
“Question is, will I stop if at that point, it’s time to try.”
Trauma, abuse, neglect, anxiety,
the times she asked for help, yet no one listens.
Secrets hidden from her family,
the mirrors the only one that understands.
She promises to get better,
Doing the best, she can.
her soul shines true of her nature,
Despite, she can barely stand.
A journey heads to broken bones,
unless she finds that help and love.
One by one, everyone knows…
“It’s too late now, it’s not enough.”
Her reflections now distorted,
as her minds infected, sickened.
She’s just a broken girl,
living in a heartless world.
TV, news, society,
everywhere around you and me.
bullying is that sin we live in
Is there any way to win?
Ashamed of her body,
everyone can see,
the people that loved her
aren’t there anymore?
It’s her ultimatum.
Yet they will never understand it.
They don’t realize it’s not her fault,
No one will know the scars that bleed inside.
She wants the help, she can’t stop if she tried.
Her diets comprise, starving her weight
She knows it’s not normal, she feels only hate.
It’s the silent of killers.
Strips you of your confidence,
preys on the helpless and weak.
Bringing doubt, shame, and fear.
Don’t be fooled by its reflection.
It’s a distraction from the truth.
Her silenced reflection
Now hidden with pain.
A prisoner living behind the glass,
Are now Bones buried in a grave.
Will you come to the service,
And ask of her name?
Or maybe she will be remembered again!
Nobody knows what a person has gone through.
So, PLEASE stop the judgements! It’s wrong and you don’t have to.
love her unconditional.
Bring warmth to her cold,
then tell her she's beautiful.
That use of words, what seems so little,
to a sickness can mean the absolute world.
#EatingDisorders #everyonematters #yourstorymatters #MentalHealth #selfmadepictureandwords
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