The other day, my bipolar rollercoaster took me to a place I didn’t want to go. Everything felt like a huge chore. I didn’t want to write, I didn’t want to go shopping, and I didn’t want to read.
Basically I didn’t want to do the things I normally like to do, which is a sign of depression. My depression was so bad that I thought the only thing to relieve it was to end it. Suicide is another symptom of bipolar depression.
I just want to be normal. I want to be able to have a normal job. Be a normal wife. Be a normal woman. Be a normal friend.
There is a woman in the Bible who wanted to be normal. She had a bleeding problem that lasted 12 years. She had spent all her money going to doctors to try to fix her medical issue.
Due to her medical problem, she was deemed unclean by the Jewish culture. She was unable to go to the temple and worship. She couldn’t touch people or be touched. She couldn’t get a hug. She was alienated from society, her friends, and her family.
She dreamed of being normal. One day, she heard Jesus was going to be in town. The lady with the 12-year bleeding problem thought to herself, if only I could get close enough to touch Him, I could be healed. So she touched Him and she was healed. She was finally normal.
I reach out to Jesus when I have my rollercoaster moments. With tears pouring out of my eyes, I cried out to Him that I just wanted to be normal. No, I wasn’t healed of my bipolar, but He used my friends to heal me for the moment.
I reached out to a few of my closest friends and they were Jesus through the words of their texts.
My husband was really sweet. He said I am normal in my own way and that’s okay.
Even as I write this script, I can’t help from crying. It is a mixture of wanting to be healed and to be normal. It is also knowing that I am dearly loved by my friends, they accept me who I am, and they don’t want me to be in pain.
I say they were Jesus through their texts, because I believe they were saying just what Jesus would have texted to me, if He had a cell phone.
1. It is okay to not be “normal”, because what is “normal”? Being normal is relative.
2. If you suffer from a mental illness, be sure you are getting the medical help you need.
3. If you know someone who has a mental illness, be Jesus through a text, a hug, acceptance of where your friend or family member is right now. You have no idea what your words or your hug or just going out for coffee can do to help someone with a mental illness from spiraling out of control or even self-harm.