mental health awareness

When does it slow down?
Does it ever get tired?
Why me?
What’s wrong with me?

Ever since I was let go from my job in an email no less, the only place someone could find me is at home. I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to, and even with that, Hunter my #esa dog HAS to be with me with one of my sons to keep me calm while I drive. My sons help me a lot which I’m always grateful, but I also feel guilt of having to ask them to help me with things I should be able to do myself.

If home delivery is possible and at a reasonable price, I would do that instead of saving even more money by going myself. I haven’t seen my PCP since I think October, and I haven’t been in a dentist chair close to a year. Besides my grandma and my two sons who live with me, I’m only fully comfortable being face to face with my best friend who I’ve known since we were basically in diapers, and she’s the only one I’d let come over to my house uninvited.

I get #Anxiety thinking of other uninvited guests. I get anxiety when my phone rings, or when I receive mail. I get anxiety when my mom or aunt asks me through text what’s going on with me.

I get #PTSD when random thoughts of disasters enter my mind… fire, tsunami, the mountains I live between erupting, or thoughts of what if whenever my sons want to go out (I still let them, but it annoys me that I have to tell them to text me to and from places so I know they’re okay). When I think of people I knew that passed from illnesses that were caught too late, which turns to me thinking what if it happens to me. Then to me not wanting anything to happen because I don’t ever want to leave my sons.

Having my sons changed a lot of how I think, and my #mentalwellbeing doesn’t take me to that dark place like it used to way before I became a mom. I want to stay here and see my boys excel in life and grow up to be amazing men. I want to see them have their own family… I seen too many loved ones dying to not want that happen to myself.

I’m trailing off again, so I’m going to put on soothing music and lay down with my dog Hunter… did I mention that late at night by myself, I sometimes feel alone?

Anyway… I’m always wishing for anyone dealing with similar things, wishing them #Positivity and #strength to tackle each day one at a time. #weareloved #wematter #wearenotdefinedbyourillness #EndTheStigma #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealthAwareness

It makes sense that neurotypical people don’t know how to support someone with bipolar.

The traditional form of support is a practical approach. Often, people are reactive in wanting to support you by problem-solving, regardless of what the issue is.

The most effective way to support another human is simple: just be present, listen, witness.

I’ve been drafting in my mind a letter to my family about my bipolar for months and I finally wrote and sent it to them yesterday.

A I wrote it, it sunk in how complicated and “crazy” living with bipolar is. To try to explain what it is, what it is to manage it and how it impacts people with it and how it impacts you, specifically, is tricky.

This is a part of the email:

Your support and understanding mean a lot and will also help me through this. I’m happy to share anything you’re curious about or if you have questions.

I can tell you what doesn’t help - telling me that there are things to be happy about and all will be ok or suggesting practical solutions like getting sun or going for a walk. I know these things. I know that these comments come from a loving place but they make my experience feel invalidated and misunderstood. The best thing you can do is just be there for me, listen and not think I’m a freak. You don’t need to say a thing.

One of the most damaging things you can do to someone with a mental illness is to apply your experiences to ours and not try to understand us. Our experiences are not the same. It may not make sense to you but please try to understand. Sharing all of this with you will help in that regard, I hope.

#Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #bipolarsupport #MoodDisorders #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness

I am joining this mental health site because I am trying to better understand my son's mental health condition, as he has been diagnosed with both schizophrenia and bipolar mania. It is difficult to navigate this situation on my own, and I am hoping that by joining this site I will be able to learn more about how to best support my son and provide him with the care he needs. I am looking forward to connecting with other people in similar situations, and learning from their experiences.

@ #MentalHealthAwareness