The '13 Reasons Why' Meme That Left Me in Tears


Editor’s note: If you experience suicidal thoughts or have lost someone to suicide, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.

On Easter Sunday, I was perusing Facebook and I saw a meme referencing “13 Reasons Why.” In this meme, the person jokes about dying by suicide because their mother wasn’t going to give them an Easter basket. When I saw this meme, I was in tears.

This may seem like an overreaction on my part. But as someone who lives with depression and was suicidal in the past, this is triggering for me.

I guess I can’t blame this person. If you’ve never been suicidal, you would probably never understand how difficult and heart wrenching it is. You might not understand what it’s like to constantly have suicidal thoughts. Thoughts that get worse over time and that won’t go away no matter how much I try. Thoughts varying from, “I want to die,” to any of the various ways that I could. A person who has never experienced suicidal ideation may never understand what it’s like to ask God to let me die so I won’t have to face a new day. They might not understand what it’s like to have depression tell me my loved ones would be “better off” if I was gone. That I’m a burden. That I’m unloveable. That I’m worthless.

They might never understand what it’s like to actually be suicidal. What a dark and scary place it is. The scariest place I have ever known. A hole so deep I believed I would have succumbed to my depression.

My depression was so bad, I sincerely believed that 2016 was going to be my last year on Earth. Well, I’m still here. With the help of therapy and antidepressants, I have gotten better. So much better than I was last year. And I want to continue becoming the best version of myself I can be.

As someone who has been there, it does get better. And there are so many people who care about you and love you. Remember, you are not alone.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.

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Photo via Twitter.

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