Without going into too much (right now) the last 7-8 months have been extremely bad for my depression and anxiety. I am in the middle of very heavy grief due to losing my mother a little over a month ago….all of that aside, my depression and anxiety is at an all time high and I find it difficult to function. Period. All I want to do is sleep and eat (entirely too much and even when I’m full). I can’t work. One week I did not leave the house for 7 days. I am trying medications and everything…without making all of this too long…
Today after a stir up of anger/anxiety/sadness I suddenly had the urge to slam my head against a wall. I felt like I almost HAD to. So I banged my head quickly several times on a door. Not super hard, but I suppose hard enough. Then I paced and slammed my fist several times into the wall. (Wood paneling)…and than punched my fist into the top of the washing machine as it was closed.
This has never happened to me before. Where I felt such a need to physically do something like that before. I have someone else in the house so I couldn’t scream at the top of my lungs like I wanted to. But has anyone else ever felt these urges? Did it continue? What did you do to help this? I’m not sure how or what to think right now.. #Depression #Anxiety #Grief #Selfharm #banghead #helpme