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I don’t even know where to start, hopefully this will be some what therapeutic … as of recently I have come to the realization that I have been a sponge to people around me and that I’m always the last one on the list when it comes to being happy and prioritizing me.
I need to better take care of myself and my mental health. I deal with a lot of insecurity, I procrastinate, doubt myself and sometimes it’s hard to start my day so I slowly get myself up and always try to do my best … some days are better than others.
I’ve come to the realization that having a cheating father all my life has lead me to seek approval on previous relationships and sometimes my current one ,I’m currently married and many times some things are triggered in me and I start making scenarios in my mind. My partner has asked me to seek help and he’s right… I know I need to speak to a therapist, there is so much I need to vomit and expell out of me… I have also been molested when younger, and I admit it I was raped by a so called friend years ago when I was intoxicated, not only that some of the things that probably also… it’s a lot caring for a child with its own needs , he’s my world though he’s on the autism spectrum ♾ , and it’s been such a roller coaster but I’ve learned so much and I hope I can do my best for my child, and to get myself up and be able to cut off or learn how to overcome some of the things mentioned and all the crap I’ve put up with and once for all deal with all these generational traumas, so that I can be the best version of myself and for my loved ones ….
I wish the same for many of you here seeking validation, sending you all positive vibes ❤️
