Relationships

I've been here before and I recognize all, for what it has done to https://me.I am at a point though that I am happy and free of https://it.I am hurt but here..The lies, the deception and munipulation by those who were given access to my heart, I no longer respect or hold any regard for them. I owe them, nothing, not my respect, consideration or empathy at this point. I will no longer invest in relationships that drain me,put me down or antaganize https://me.I https://wont.Thirty years of them projecting their animosity and false narratives on https://me.I will find a way and I have faith, https://still.People have no idea where I come from and what I endured. He forgot and I will not let him, put me back there, ever https://again.I cannot believe who he let ruin https://him.I was taken advantage of for the last https://time.He will only get more desperate and it shows https://now.He knows, I know.my therapists and diary are kept informed every https://week.I cannot believe this has become my normal and my https://life.I will keep my calm and hold back my anger, I do not need to become who they are trying to make me https://into.That was their plan.

November will be a really amazing month. Why, you ask? Well Imma tell you!

The 21st will be our one year anniversary. It's really hard to believe we've been together for 5 months.

But wait, there's more!

The 29th will be the 10 year anniversary of the day we first met. We met at a BDSM party at a hotel. We really gravitated to each other. It was so strong, my attraction to that stupidhead. She became my rock. Even before we started dating, when I had to spend 4 days in the hospital, she stuck by my side and didn't want to leave me alone. It was the first time we cuddled, in that hospital bed. I felt so safe and comfortable so I fell asleep for about 4 hours. She's really important to me. Id be lost without her.

So we decided we want to celebrate with our friends sharing the happiness and love. We're gonna host a hotel party at the hotel we used to use. We have lots of people to invite. It's gonna be awesome. I've invited a few out of state friends already.

So yeah. Weeeeeee

#Relationships

Nothing says "welcome to being an adult" more than the stockpile of ✨responsibilities✨ that come with it.

These responsibilities can look like managing your health and household, taking care of family and pets, or even maintaining different relationships or roles in your life. Depending on your personal circumstances, maintaining and keep up with those responsibilities may look different for each of us.

In general, would you consider yourself a responsible person? Or is it something you’re actively working toward? (No judgment if there’s room for growth!)

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Anxiety #Depression
#Autism #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie

For as long as I can remember, my relationship with food has been rather complicated. My weight has fluctuated throughout my life, but I’ve mostly been overweight. Food has always been my go-to comfort, my crutch. I consider myself a foodie. I have such a love and passion for it. I always want to try the newest restaurants or make the latest trending recipe.

Food has been something that I can rely on. It’s been a friend when I needed one. It’s a coping mechanism that fills an empty void. It takes away the pain. For me, it’s euphoric. I’m so happy when I’m eating. Although that eventually turns into a vicious cycle of joy and guilt.

Depression can cause drastic changes in appetite. You can suppress it entirely, or it can lead to overeating. For me, the day is spent without much interest in food surprisingly enough. I attribute this to certain medications that I am now taking. But I still eat late at night when my emotions are overwhelming. I find myself indulging in sweet and savory treats. It’s always something salty, then something sweet. I use food as a distraction and as an excuse to eat my feelings away.

I understand that this cycle of emotional eating is common, especially among those who struggle with mental health. When I’m feeling down and depressed, my brain craves the comfort that only food can bring. It’s the easiest source of instant gratification.

From what I’ve learned, your dopamine spikes when you eat highly processed foods. For a moment, that food provides the comfort we so desperately need. But that relief is fleeting and is often replaced by shame, or further emotional distress, continually feeding the cycle.

The constant stress of feeling that shame for overeating takes a toll. For me, it’s like an emotional game of tug-of-war. I’m pulled and drawn to eat, I’m excited while eating, and then I fall into the pit of guilt. I feel the consequences deeply, and it’s horrible. But it’s a way to numb all of that emotional pain.

So how does one change their eating habits?

I am still on my journey of learning to navigate my relationship with food. I know that a healthier lifestyle is achievable. I’ve been there. Sometimes I might fall off the wagon, but I know I can get back on it. I do have the power within me to change; I just need to remind myself often of that.#

One strategy that has helped me is practicing mindful eating. I’m really trying to pay attention to what I’m eating and why. Am I just eating because I’m hungry? Or am I just eating because I’m anxious and depressed? Sometimes, I just do it out of pure boredom. But I’ve tried focusing my attention elsewhere.

Journaling has been a very helpful tool for me. It’s a way for me to identify what my emotional triggers are and try to find alternative coping mechanisms. I avoid retreating into old habits. I enjoy going for a walk with my dog. I also like listening to some music or chatting with friends. It all really makes a huge difference for me.

There are still tough days, and I know I won’t break these habits overnight. But it’s about finding better ways to cope with emotional distress. Healing takes time, but every small step toward self-awareness is a step in the right direction. I know I have the power to change, even if it’s just one day at a time.

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.”

Akshay Dubey

#MentalHealth #eating #Depression #Anxiety