Relationships

Hi, my name is Nosaj. I'm here because Im heart broken, detoxing from a toxic relationship, and just don't want to feel alone

#MightyTogether #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder

**Sorry for such a long post!
So my boyfriend makes me feel more emotionally safe and secure in our relationship than any man has before. He is loving and supportive. HOWEVER he does not make me feel physically safe. Im not sure if I’m over thinking this and would love some other people’s opinions. Here are a few of the reasons I’m feeling this way:
1. We were walking in the city and three tall guys made a half circle around him, separating us, to get him to buy something from them. The only reason he actually got away from their group was when his aunt came over and literally dragged him away. I, an overthinker, thought about how they could’ve easily kidnapped me and he wouldn’t have even noticed until it was too late.
2. I showed him a video of a guy smashing the passenger side window of a man’s car where his girlfriend was sitting. The guy was clearly angry and shaking his fist near the gf’s face. I asked my boyfriend what the first thing he would do is and he said take a photo of the license plate. Is it high maintenance of me to be upset that he didn’t say he would get out and push the guy away to defend me or something? Yes, it’s a good idea to get the license plate, but shouldn’t he be mindful of my safety first?
3. I asked him the “would you save me or the unborn baby” question and he chose the baby. He respected my choice when I explained why I felt he should save me, but I feel like I shouldn’t have had to explain this to him.
4. He doesn’t think to wait for me to lock my door when we leave my apartment, just continues to walk without me until he finally stops like 20 feet away when he realizes I’m not with him yet.
5. We were in a crowded nightclub that we had never been to before and got separated by a large group on the dance floor. I laughed it off and jokingly danced by myself, but he didn’t even try to help get me back over to him. He was watching me the whole time, but was just laughing at the situation and didn’t offer to help or reach for me.
6. He was driving behind me when I ran over a street sign and crashed my car into a tree due to icy roads. He immediately got out of his car, ran over to my car, and called the police, but didn’t run up to my door to see if I was alright. I got out of the car and ran to him after a minute of sitting in my seat in shock.
I know he loves me and cares about me, but I feel that he isn’t mindful of my safety. He buys me flowers, makes me feel beautiful, comforts me when I’m sad, and helps me with things like moving furniture, killing bugs, doing dishes, etc. But I can’t help but think, would he protect me against an intruder? Fight someone who was harassing me? Protect me from a wild animal?
Idk, maybe I’m too invested in fictional love stories?
I grew up with an abusive man in my home and my past boyfriends always made me feel insecure in some type of way. He is the only man I’ve been with who makes me feel so loved and secure in our relationship.
I’d like to know people’s thoughts on this. What do I do? Am I overthinking this? Has anyone else felt this way before?
#Anxiety #Relationships

Trigger warning: violence, sexual abuse, cutting
This is a long one...
I wonder if being an #Adoptee is the reason I get in horrible relationships.
My former husband was a horrible person. It was very hard to fill that emotional tank with hatred today, to stop giving him excuses.

- He was traumatized as a child, with an abusive father.
And when he was abusive toward the kids he would say "his father wás so much worst";
-He is still verbally and emotionally abusive with me.
Anger bubbles inside him, and his explosion is hurtful and scary.
-He was physically abusive and sexually abusive.
And only after I cut myself in many places over my own body he did let me go.

I was incompetent and scary enough to not be able to have my kids with me after separation - it was 50% 50%, when they should be with me.

What I need is feel hate, because I still cry because of this man! I feel guilty for my immature way to fight back (I cheated on him, for companionship and validation), I feel.guilty for allowing the kids to be with him.

If I were one of this women from movies and books I would fight back, take the kids away, hide somewhere with them!

My kids are so scared! And it is all because of him!

All these years I keep blaming myself!

And I don't want find forgiveness anymore, I want to hate him! I want to cry over the love that I thought existed and never did!

I want to mourn the man I thought he was, the couple I wanted us to be! I want to mourn the dream marriage, the dream family! All that is a lie!

That's the reality of two damaged people together: not the love story from movies where they walk hand in hand in the end: it's the horror movie where I need to survive for my kids, where we all end with the scars made by the monster that was never destroyed, that keeps coming back over and over again.

All I wanted was a "real family"... All I wanted is fill my heart with some hate because the battle is not even close to be over.

OK mighty team I need help here. I have an ex colleague who told me that they have a love addiction and that I am the target. This person let me know years ago that he had a crush on me and I told him under no circumstances could we ever have anything in a relationship other than a friendship because he’s four years older than my child how do I handle that if it’s constantly send me messages. I have not spoken to or seen this person in over two years, even though we work in the same building. Last week they reached out to me via chat (MSTeams) to tell they are doing bad because of this addiction. After looking into it, I decided that it was best for me to stay clear of this person for my own safety. They let me know that they understand that I’m married and still want to be friends. We have never communicated outside of work. Today he messaged me and asked if we could be best friends, I told him no. He asked why and told him my husband is my best friend. He asked me why again and said he wants to see me. I told no and let him know that he was starting to get close to harassment. I should I feel about this? I talked to a few colleagues and they agreed that this is becoming harassment. What do you think?🤔

Hi, my name is JLeon. I'm here because
I've recently gone through the most difficult breakup of my life, and I'm also newly sober from any and all intoxicating substances. Once I got sober, I began re-examining my behavior towards the end of that relationship, and in past relationships, and it fits all of the symptoms of BPD. After discussion this with my psychologist, she agreed and suggested that I begin a course of DBT. I'm here to learn more about this process and to learn from others in similar situations.#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD

The more I think about things, I get all the more angry about the complexities involved in generations of abuse. The same people who taught me to have self-respect for myself and how to set somewhat reasonable boundaries in relationships are the same people who didn't have it for themselves. It’s like realizing that your heroes who seem to save everyone were incapable of saving themselves from tragedy. My grandparents' relationship was abusive and codependent, and I think it's the same with my mom. Her husband can't make certain life decisions without someone telling him what to do. My mom, who has not only been said person, but I also believe that she can't be by herself for extended periods. Things seem to be back to normal after he had discarded her for the last few weeks. As angry as I am about all of this, I truly believe neither one is ready for change. A narcissist and an eternal hopeful person are a painful combination to watch. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #Abuse