Relationships

I believe that there is a relationship between ADHD and childhood trama.

This essay discusses the sensitive and potentially distressing topics of rape, sexual violence, and their aftermath. It includes detailed analysis of the psychological motivations behind rapists, the emotional and physical effects on survivors, and societal attitudes surrounding these acts.The purpose of this essay is to raise awareness, challenge misconceptions, and advocate for prevention and support for survivors. However, it may contain material that some readers find triggering or upsetting.Readers are encouraged to proceed with caution, prioritize their well-being, and seek support if needed. If you are a survivor of sexual violence, know that you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you.

The prevalence of rape in our society is both alarming and heartbreaking, leading to profound consequences for survivors, communities, and even the perpetrators themselves. This paper seeks to explore rape as an act of power, rather than one of desire, examining the psychological motivations behind rapists, the lasting effects on survivors, and the societal structures that perpetuate this violence.

My interest in this topic stems from the stark reality of sexual violence in the modern world, where headlines frequently highlight cases that speak to both systemic issues and individual trauma. The constant exposure to these harrowing stories is a sobering reminder of how deeply entrenched sexual violence is in society. Beyond the headlines, the personal accounts of survivors I have encountered underscore the urgent need for understanding, intervention, and prevention.

Rape is more than an isolated act of violence; it reflects deeper issues within a society, such as gender inequality, entitlement, and the normalization of aggressive behaviors. Expounding on this topic is not only an academic endeavor but a moral imperative to challenge the culture that enables such violence. Furthermore, this research seeks to provide insights that can inform policies, advocacy, and support systems for survivors. By addressing this topic holistically, we can contribute to a more empathetic and informed approach to combating sexual violence.

Rape as an Act of Power

Contrary to common misconceptions, rape is not primarily about sexual attraction or desire. Rather, it is a deliberate act of asserting power and control over another individual. This understanding is crucial in dismantling myths that perpetuate rape culture and in addressing the root causes of sexual violence.

Research by Groth and Birnbaum (1979) categorizes rapists into distinct psychological profiles, including power rapists, anger rapists, and sadistic rapists. Power rapists, the most prevalent category, commit sexual violence to dominate and control their victims. Their actions often stem from feelings of inadequacy or a desire to assert superiority. For them, the act of rape is a means of compensating for a perceived lack of power in other areas of their lives.

In contrast, anger rapists are motivated by rage and hostility, often directed at women or individuals they perceive as vulnerable. Their assaults are characterized by excessive violence and an intent to degrade and humiliate their victims. Sadistic rapists, though less common, derive pleasure from inflicting pain and suffering, combining sexual arousal with cruelty.

Understanding these motivations underscores that rape is rarely impulsive or purely sexual. It is a calculated act designed to dehumanize and assert dominance over the victim. This dynamic is further reinforced by societal norms that excuse or downplay sexual violence. For instance, rape culture often normalizes aggressive male behavior, blames victims for their assaults, and perpetuates the idea that men are entitled to control over women’s bodies. These societal attitudes create an environment where rape is not only tolerated but enabled.

Rape as an act of power also manifests in specific contexts, such as during wartime, where it is weaponized to demoralize communities and assert control over enemy populations. This further highlights the role of dominance and subjugation in sexual violence, demonstrating that it is less about individual attraction and more about systemic power dynamics.

Aftermath of Sexual Violence

The impact of rape on survivors is profound, affecting their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. While the physical injuries may heal with time, the emotional scars often persist, influencing every aspect of a survivor's life.

Survivors frequently experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), characterized by flashbacks, nightmares, hyper-vigilance, and avoidance behaviors. These symptoms can disrupt daily functioning, making it difficult for survivors to engage in work, relationships, and other activities. Anxiety and depression are also common, often compounded by feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame.

The societal response to survivors further exacerbates these challenges. Victim-blaming narratives, such as questioning what the survivor was wearing or implying they provoked the assault, create an environment where survivors feel silenced and unsupported. This stigma can deter survivors from seeking help, leaving them to navigate their trauma in isolation.

Additionally, the legal system often fails to provide the closure survivors need. Courtroom proceedings can be retraumatizing, as survivors are required to recount their experiences in detail while facing skepticism and scrutiny. The low conviction rates for rape cases further erode survivors' trust in the justice system, reinforcing feelings of powerlessness and despair.

The aftermath of sexual violence also impacts survivors’ relationships, as they may struggle with intimacy, trust, and communication. The ripple effects extend to their families, friends, and communities, creating a broader web of pain and disruption.

On the other hand, examining the psychological states of rapists reveals patterns of entitlement, lack of empathy, and unresolved anger. Many perpetrators rationalize their actions, minimizing their impact or blaming the victim. Addressing these psychological states is essential for rehabilitation and preventing recidivism, as understanding the root causes of such behavior can inform more effective interventions.

Rape, as explored throughout this paper, is far more than an act of sexual desire. It is a calculated act of power, designed to assert control and dominance over the victim. The psychological and emotional consequences of sexual violence are profound and long-lasting, deeply impacting both survivors and perpetrators. By acknowledging that rape is a weapon of power rather than desire, we can begin to dismantle harmful misconceptions and challenge the structures that perpetuate rape culture.

In examining the psychological dynamics of rapists, it becomes evident that addressing this behavior requires more than simply criminalizing the act. Prevention efforts must focus on addressing the emotional and societal underpinnings of sexual violence, including entitlement, anger, and narcissism. Furthermore, the psychological effects on survivors necessitate comprehensive support systems that go beyond legal remedies to include trauma-informed care, counseling, and education on consent and healthy relationships.

Rape's aftermath often leaves survivors grappling with feelings of shame, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. These effects ripple through every aspect of their lives, altering their sense of safety, trust, and self-worth. Similarly, society's lack of empathy and understanding can perpetuate stigma, which further silences. Through education and open conversations, we can work to change these perceptions and create spaces where survivors feel empowered to heal.Rape is a societal issue that require #rapeawareness , #MentalHealth

Hi, my name is beambeam. I'm looking for friends. I have moved states twice and it's hard to keep relationships from a distance.

#MightyTogether

I went to my first AA meetings a few months ago and I found peace and community. I was heavily in denial and still am a bit but I am working it!
I am 2 weeks sober from Xanax, over 3 months for opioids, I’ve been relapsing with alcohol but went at least a month sober (after doing all 3 every other day for over a year), sex free for over a month and I’m proud of me honestly.
I’m having withdrawals and cravings out the wazzoo & hope I can’t quit tabacco just as easily but honestly it’s probably the hardest to quit out of all of them right now funny enough.
Also, I think I’m done with s*x work… I’ve never admitted it or told anyone and probably won’t but I’m leaving the life.
After being a sw for about 7 years unwittingly, dropping out of college and going downhill from there (thank god i can admit I went downhill although I thought I was ticking up because I had nice clothes and shoes. Silly goose.
I went full throttle after being SA’d and picked up a nasty Xanax, weed, opioid, alcohol habit. I picked up anything I could get my hands on. I was even high on Christmas last year but today I’m sober. Today I posted an ad, but I pray no one responds & I don’t go.
I’m going through it right now with my family, as I feel like they’re begging me to continue but this is my life and I don’t want to.
I simply don’t want to.
I’m smart, attractive, KIND, I have so much more to offer than my vaguna and what I look like & I think I’m just through. I want a normal life.

I’ve done so much thinking about my life this past year and I’m about to turn 30 in a few weeks and I’m craving that fresh start.

I want to be sober. Free!
Fun, genuine, I don’t want to have this facade all the time that I have it all together, I want to connect with others. I want meaningful relationships, I want people out of my life, I want to be stronger, I want to save my energy for people that deserve it. I want to be loved & love. I want a family, I want that house, I want that car & I want normalcy. I don’t want this shit anymore.
It feels really weird to say as I’ve never been sober before or without my vices but I genuinely think I’m done.
I started this line of work in college & I ended up dropping out not knowing how to balance a social life & work life, but what I didn’t realize is my “social life” was literally just be being used and pimped out and im not ashamed, but I do feel more hardened than I should be. I’ve turned really cold toward almost everybody. I look like and behave like a crackwhore. I’m not proud of myself & I want out. I don’t want to bring any pieces of my “past life” to my 30s. Quotations because unfortunately I know I’ll still have these people in my life they’re not going to go away that easily.

Im scared all the time and I’m not safe no matter what I tell myself, but I will be. I have faith and confidence in myself, no desire to harm myself anymore. I know I’m going to get through it- but man is it hard.

“life imitates art” is one of my most favorite sayings but I never realized how true that that is in all aspects of life and not just SW for me. When I was younger I would watch so many movies about old Hollywood stars who got hooked on drugs, girls who got SA’d, self harm, rock and roll, sex drugs and money and thought I was SO glamorous, not realizing I have a lot of sexual trauma from childhood that I haven’t healed and a lot of it started with my “family”.

I’ve been “home” for the past few months after living at my grandmothers, shelters, “friends” and hotels and motels. And it’s bringing up a lot of unresolved issues for me. My house burned down last year and my parents moved to a really big nice home while we wait for the house to be rebuilt, my dog passed, my aunt passed, my step grandmother passed, I visited the mental hospital 3x last year and taking any drug I could get my hands on. I know I’m rambling but I have to get this out (i have no either) & it’s been hell to say the least.

But most importantly I’m sober and I have a desire to be clean forever. From weed, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex and limerence.

If I go back please talk me off the deep end, it’s not a place I want to revisit. I feel like SW destroyed my life. I don’t want to revisit that life again.

I think one of my greatest issues is I allowed my mother I hate to say, to live through me & now I want my own life. I’m scared shitless! I don’t know how people do it, but I want to live my life for ME and my happiness. I want to go back to school, enjoy life, breathe air! Smell the roses and just relax. No worries, no chaos, just peace and love. I know everyday won’t be that as I am a drug addict and alcoholic but it kind of gives me something to look forward to everyday. Every day that I can go to sleep and say I didn’t talk to myself badly or give into temptation that’s a win.

I love myself. I will be kind to myself. I will not let others control me. I will protect myself and others and give myself grace. I’ll have privacy, autonomy, light and kindness in my life. Accountability and wholesomeness. I won’t allow my niece or children to look up to me one day and see that I’m a “whore”. I will take into accountability other people’s feelings & opinions and start putting myself first and thinking of others when I do things. I’m gonna be an adult. Im growing and I will be grown.
I will allow myself to feel, think for myself, save myself and care for myself. I don’t want to be a burden or menace to society & I don’t have to be.
I know in this day & age being a SW is a lot more accepted, but I don’t want to do it anymore. I have enough time to turn things around for myself & being a good reputation & repair relationships with people who mean a lot to me regardless of if they’ve hurt me or not, I think I’m becoming mature enough to know that I probably hurt them as well & it’s not a good feeling.

I always considered myself a good person but now I want the outside to match the inside. I’m a victim & victor and my life will be lived for me.

I won’t be ashamed to be myself. My true self, whoever tf that is 🙂‍↔️

Hi Friends,

It has been exactly one month since I last updated everyone with what's going on in my life. First off, 2025 happened so fast but is off to a great start.

I usually only write when I'm puzzled or going through something traumatic in my life, but I want to shift that narrative and also write when I'm doing well. Although it's been a constant struggle coping with BPD & PTSD, I find that it gets easier once I've accepted that no one day is going to be the same. The ups and downs will happen - but knowing and believing that things will work out calms my soul.

My relationship has been going well. My boyfriend and I are now 1 year and 2 months into our relationship. Last year was challenging because we fought nearly every day. Now I know it was because we were still learning each other & were dealing with our own traumas. However, we've both found a happy medium. We've been practicing healthy communication and are way more supportive and respectful of each other now.

As for therapy, I was consistent for several weeks but had to stop. Come to find out, my health insurance was cancelled back in September and I was slapped with a $700 invoice from the mental health clinic. Not fun... lol. But I'm not worried. Everything will be resolved soon and hopefully I can start seeing my therapist once a week or perhaps twice a month.

I also got hired for a second job. Not only do I work a full-time job as a Junior Cybersecurity Analyst, but I will now be working part-time as a Pharmacy Technician. I'm trying not to overwork myself and get as much rest as I can, but I find that being busy and doing things that benefit my life in a positive way makes me feel good about myself.

I have also been doing well with being sober and even started to work out atleast twice a week. My goal is to turn it to 4 times a week, but I know that will take some time.

Overall, I want to thank The Mighty once again for giving me an outlet and access to a community that shows so much empathy and love.

You will hear from me again.

As for now, take care.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder