Relationships

It’s been a helluva year. Beginning with the death of my alcoholic, neglectful, drug addicted mother (I’m sorry but it’s true). I then upheaved my entire life in a very embarrassing manner… I completely and wholeheartedly regret leaving my husband (twice). He was profoundly mentally ill and emotionally abusive…. Since he has worked on himself and has made great progress, we are working on things currently. I was diagnosed and undiagnosed with bpd… understandabley so. After my chaotic behavior— leaving one abusive relationship for two others— I’m in therapy trying to work through all the pain… I’m told it’s trauma related and have since had my fist appointment— has anyone had much luck with trauma therapy??? I had my first tonight and it was intense to say the least— thoughts??? How do you use this constructively???

By Linda Athanasiadou

People often assume they know what being bisexual means. That it’s about liking men and women “equally.” That it’s indecisive, confusing, or temporary. That it’s a stepping stone to something else—or nothing serious at all. But the truth is, being bisexual doesn’t fit neatly into anyone’s assumptions. It’s not a phase. It’s not a performance. And it’s definitely not what most people think.

Being bisexual feels like freedom and friction at the same time. It’s the freedom to be attracted to more than one gender, to connect with people beyond binaries. But it’s also the friction of constantly navigating a world that struggles to recognize that truth. A world where people often ask, “But which do you prefer?” or assume that your current partner defines your orientation.

For me, being bisexual means living in the space between—and sometimes feeling like you don’t fully belong anywhere. Straight people often treat you like you’re gay. Queer spaces sometimes treat you like you’re straight. Dating can feel like a test: Will this person understand? Will I have to defend myself again?

It also means constantly coming out. Every new person, every new relationship, every time someone assumes. There’s no one-and-done moment. It’s ongoing. And while sometimes that feels empowering, other times it’s exhausting. Because each time, you’re weighing whether it’s safe, whether it’s worth the explanation, whether your truth will be accepted or minimized.

Being bisexual means sitting with contradictions that don’t feel contradictory to you—but do to others. It’s knowing that you can love a man and still be queer. That being in a same-gender relationship doesn’t make you any “more” gay than you were before. That identity isn’t measured by who you’re currently dating.

But it’s not all struggle. There’s beauty in the nuance. There’s clarity in understanding attraction as something fluid and not forced into a mold. There’s joy in finding others who feel the same, who share your language, who don’t raise an eyebrow when you say you’re bi. There’s power in rejecting the idea that your love has to look a certain way to be valid.

Being bisexual, for me, feels like reclaiming space. Space to define myself without apology. Space to unlearn shame. Space to feel fully seen.

So no—it’s not what most people think. It’s deeper, messier, and more real. And it’s not something that needs to be justified or simplified.

#lindaathanasiadou #athanasiadou #LGBTQ #Bisexual

I recently wrote about my cognitive experience in full to try and make sense of things: Living with No Memory, No Emotions, and a Blank Mind: My Jou...

It's too long to share here, but I'd appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it and can offer help.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD, depression and anxiety, but what's really devastating me is the combination of three interconnected challenges:

1. Poor memory: Severely impaired across all types - short term, long term, working memory, and especially recall (cued recall works slightly better). Information doesn't seem to properly encode in the first place, my life feels like a camera that isn't recording anything.

2. Lack of emotions : Complete emotional numbness, very unreactive no feelings whatsoever.

3. Blank mind : No spontaneous thoughts, automatic associations, opinions, and struggle to think on the spot. Can’t problem-solve real-time situations.

This has been lifelong but has really caught up with me in my 20s (I’m 26). The implications are devastating - extreme alienation, no sense of self or continuity, inability to build on past experiences, can't sustain relationships, constant anxiety and dissociation. Nothing feels real or important, and I never know what to do with myself. I'm quite suicidal and desperate because of this.

My social functioning is severely impacted. I can't hold basic conversations, connect with people, or maintain relationships. I've developed seriously avoidant behaviors and isolation as a result.

I'm currently trying therapy, medication (SSRIs, stimulants), supplements and various lifestyle changes. I exercise regularly, maintain a healthy diet, and practice meditation. None of this has helped with the core issues.

I'm reaching out to see if anyone in this community has experienced similar symptoms or has any insights. I'm looking for specialized treatment approaches, relevant research, or professionals who understand these specific cognitive issues.#

Has anyone here found relief or improvement for similar lifelong symptoms? Any perspective would be deeply appreciated.

Hello,

I’ve been going through an incredibly challenging and painful time with my family. I'm 24 years old, and my family has always had control over every aspect of my life, especially when it comes to my relationship. They don't approve of me being in a relationship with my boyfriend, and it's caused a lot of tension and emotional strain.

It all started when I began a relationship with my boyfriend, who lives abroad in my family’s home country. My family, particularly my father, was very against it from the beginning. They tried to manipulate me emotionally and psychologically, telling me that they knew what was best for me and that I should always listen to them. My father physically and emotionally abused me during this time, and there were many instances where I felt trapped in my own home. They would force me into rooms and speak for hours about how my boyfriend wasn’t the right one for me, saying that I should always listen to my family and that they knew when the "right time" to fall in love was.

As the situation worsened, I was not allowed to leave the house without fear of being monitored. They put cameras in the house and would listen in on my conversations. If I ever went outside to talk to my boyfriend, my sister would follow me and eavesdrop on everything I said, taking screenshots of my messages and invading my privacy in ways that made me feel suffocated and trapped. My sister would take my phone and throw it on the floor saying I had a time limit of 5 minutes with him and starting screaming at me, alongside my mother and father. When I tried to seek help, I called the police, but the police officer who arrived seemed to know my father personally and dismissed my situation, saying there was no evidence of abuse, even though I had a huge bruise on my arm. He stated he knew many families from my culture that were "tough on their kids" and proceeded to foolishly say that if I was not a minor he would have just sent me back home. I explained how they invaded my privacy and how they took both my passports, legal government documents, and he said that they had the right to do so. He even told the other officer with him that I was lying and that my story didn't seem credible.

When I entered into this relationship my father became physically violent. He almost punched me in the face during an argument when I suggested the first time that I wanted to go see my boyfriend alone. I was terrified, and it made me want to leave even more. I decided to fight to go abroad and be with my boyfriend because the abuse and constant surveillance from my family had become unbearable. My family tried everything to stop me from going. They didn’t allow me to make my own bank account, took away the money I earned (I work part-time with my father in his business), and even tried to stop me from seeing him by using emotional blackmail. They would guilt-trip me by saying I was ruining their reputation and making them look bad by having a boyfriend and “going to see a man.”

At one point, my father even threatened my boyfriend, calling him a "pig" and a "pervert," and told him that he was no longer allowed to see me. They would use money as a way to control me—when I tried to get a bank account for myself, they refused, telling me that I couldn’t access my own money or even know my own financial information (Eventually I made my own account) They also manipulated me into feeling guilty for having a relationship and threatened to cut me off financially, which they eventually did, forcing me to get a student loan just to be able to finish university.

The situation only escalated from there. My family continued to undermine my relationship, and my father even hired a private investigator to take photos of my boyfriend and me when we were out together. The investigator was at the airport when I had arrived after months of fighting to see my boyfriend again and took pictures of us while we were kissing and sent it to my father. They spread lies about my boyfriend, saying he was a womanizer and trying to make me believe that he wasn’t trustworthy. My sister also started a group chat with my aunts, giving them reports about me and constantly criticizing my boyfriend. She even threatened to call immigration on him, despite him discussing with me that it would be best for us to move to the US for work reasons but he is not saying we have to do that. She and my mom would team up together and continuously call my boyfriend, threatening him, insulting him, and making him feel like he wasn't worthy of being with me. It reached the point where my father called him telling him to leave me and even tried to convince my boyfriend that I suffered from anorexia and health issues.

The worst part came when I found out that my family had hired a private investigator to spy on us. They had been following us around, taking photos of us while we were out in public, and gathering information about our relationship. My older sister had screenshots of my intimate messages and sent them to my parents. My sister is 34 years old and I didn’t expect this type of behavior from her. This made me feel humiliated and violated, knowing that they had gone to such extremes to try and control my life. It made me question how far they would go to tear my relationship apart and make me feel guilty for being with someone they didn’t approve of.

After months of emotional and physical abuse, I decided to leave and go abroad to be with my boyfriend. But my family made it difficult for me. They insisted on canceling my plane ticket, cutting me off financially, and even threatening me with guilt and shame to try and force me to come back home. They even imposed a curfew on me, demanding that I return home by a certain time, and constantly checking on me when I went out. My family went as far as to accuse my boyfriend of being a "bad influence," calling him a "pig" and a "pervert," which made me feel humiliated and trapped. They had given me a credit card and had blocked it when I arrived abroad to punish me.

My aunts were also heavily involved in monitoring my movements. They showed up uninvited to the apartment where I was staying with my boyfriend, often spying on us. One aunt even came into the apartment without my consent early in the morning and started checking rooms to see if he slept over, which infuriated me and made me feel like I had no privacy. They were using this as a way to gather information on my relationship and control my every action. These aunts were close to me, and I felt betrayed by their constant intrusion into my personal life.

Eventually, I came back home, but the situation didn’t improve. They still controlled my every move, trying to manipulate me by withholding money and information, and even threatening to cut me off completely. They told me that if I stayed with my boyfriend, and decided to frequently visit him throughout the year, I would never be accepted into the family and that I would have to choose between them and him. This was especially difficult because I am the youngest in my family, and they used financial dependency as a way to control me.

I’m struggling with guilt, and it’s hard to accept that my family can’t accept me for who I am or support my choices. Now, I’m living with my boyfriend, and I’ve been trying to make a life with him, but the financial struggles and emotional turmoil are taking a toll. I’ve been trying to go abroad every two months, but I’m struggling to afford it because my family cut me off financially, and my boyfriend can’t support me alone. I feel torn because I want to go back for Easter, but I also don’t know if it’s worth it, considering the stress and manipulation I would face. I am doing university virtually, all my classes online, and it wouldn't be necessary for me to go back now but I always hope my family changes and I don't have any more money to spend. Should I go back for Easter or remain here?

This past Friday I finally received a call back from a job and they gave me an offer. I have to say that even though I have been waiting for something like this, I was/am more scared than excited. I immediately felt the tension in my neck and upper back and started sweating. I almost don't want to take the job, but I know I should take what I can because I need to start finding a way to move out (i am still living with my ex). He finally expressed how it's hard for him that I am still here since he still very much doesn't want to let me go.
My options are:
1. Stay in this state (idaho) and look for housing assistance. Find a job that can support me and start a new career in something that i like.
2. Move back in with my parents in CA and try to pick myself up there with the "support" and criticism of those around me. I would also either share room with my parents or my youngest sister or I'd have to sleep in the living room. (Another sister and her husband also live with my parents and there's already too much tension there.)
3. Move in with my sister also in CA and pay her rent and have more sense of urgency to pick myself up.
#MentalHealth #Relationships