I know to many it seems ridiculous, but the loss of my mom was major for me. Today makes 8 years since she passed on. In my head I replay the day from the moment I received the phone call at 1:45 am. I remember asking the doctor if he was joking. Grief comes in waves and this day every year it crashes.

My mom, my mentor, and my one friends are the only ones who never make/made me feel worthless and like a screw up. My friend lives in another province and my mentor is going through some pretty serious things with her family.

I miss my mom so much.

My depression is reaching an all time low. It hurts. It physically hurts to be this low. On top of that add the grief add the worthlessness I feel because those around me do and say things to make me feel that way.

My mom was quiet but strong. She was smart, kind, and caring. But she got run into the ground by selfishness and being told her opinion didn’t matter. She was an alcoholic. She wouldn’t have said that but it was her coping mechanism. When she was drunk she was mean. But I understand. I am sad I didn’t let her know enough how much I admired and respected her.

#beingadaughter #remembering #lost