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How do you find a will to live?

I just don’t have it in me anymore. What reasons do you all use to keep going because I don’t like that the only thing I feel I have to live for is to not put my loved ones through losing me but I think they’d be better off without me once the pain lessens. All I’ve been is a burden to people and I’m tired of feeling this way. I’m not brave enough to take my life but living like this is wearing on my soul. #SuicidalIdeation #depresson #Anxiety #Sadness #lonely #lost

2 reactions

× " I Feel Like My Kindness ¥ Independence... Are Pushing People Away From Me... " × #Annoyed #confused

° " Being Independent Is Like Survival Mode For Me... And When I Meet A Guy I Have To Swallow My Pride And Shut Down... And Let Them Pay For Thing's... I'm Not Used To It Because Of The Way My Ex Treated Me... And Made Me Very Dependant On Him... So Why Would I Let Another Man... Pay For My Thing's... So That Later On... If We Are Still Seeing One Another... And Tell Me That I Need To Do More And Pay For Thing's... No Thx... I'm Good Paying For Myself... And Yet The Men Get Disappointed... I'm The Type Of Person That Doesn't Like Asking For Thing's... Or Favor's... Because Later It Could Become A Form Of Abuse Or Even Blackmail.. Over Money... So I Like Being Able To Pay Off My Bill's... And It's A Turn Off To Some Dude's I Don't Get It... I Don't Want Men To Feel Like I'm Just Using Them... For Thing's It's Not In Me... So That's Why I Haven't Been On Another Date Since The Last Guy... " • #lost #Thought 's ☆▪︎☆Skaoi Kvitravn☆▪︎☆

29 reactions 11 comments

How to cope when depressed and feel bad about a loved one’s mental health and chronic pain?

I get depressed and unhappy sometimes though I’m trying hard to change my life and do my best I often feel like a loser, I cry and feel negative though I try to be positive, my mom is often the same and worse than me, she struggles with chronic pain, I wish I could help her and sometimes I wish I was someone different a better version of myself, I put myself down and compare myself too much. I feel so lost sometimes :/ :( #selfcomparison #Comparison #loser #Depression #ChronicPain #illness #Health #Family #Parents #lost

4 reactions 1 comment

Feeling Depressed and like a Loser

Tips on when you’re not happy where you’re at in life and feel like a loser or a nobody #Depression #sad #Upset #Depression #Crying #Sadness #alone #lost #tough

16 reactions 5 comments
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My mom sent me this text and I just feel numb

I love my mom and family but it’s very dysfunctional and passively emotionally abusive, it used to be a lot worse during my sucidal attempts and self harming in my teens when the abuse was super bad. I’ve come a long way since but I still have a long way to go but trying my best. I know it’s hard for her to understand but it just hurts, I feel like such a waste of space and a total burden or mistake, just feel pathetic and like trash right now, really hard to be kind to myself right now though I usually try to combat the negative thoughts. Anyways sorry thank you I just don’t have a lot of friends and people that understand disabilities or struggles with mental health. Thanks I’ll just struggling having a really bad anxiety attack and crying might have to call the crisis line a little. My eyes hurt from crying. #MentalHealth #Stigma #illness #Disability #lost #lonely #sad #Burden #alone #Recovery #Trying #TheMighty #help #Advice #SOSAD

160 reactions 33 comments
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I like being alone. But not like this.

I can’t describe the kind of loneliness and pain I am currently through. I can’t talk to anyone about what I’m really feeling. I literally have no friends to turn to. I just got out of a 3 year relationship. My first relationship. And as gay guy. It’s been 13 weeks now, and I’m still struggling to cope. We didn’t end things badly. He broke up with me and asked if all the things he mentioned was true or not and I agreed. We both decided it’s better. We still care so much for each other but ae don’t really talk. I stayed with him for those 3 years and now I had to move back to my hometown with my parents. Now my support system (parents) are not that great. They don’t know how to deal with someone going through what I’m feeling. We can’t discuss it. Ever since o was a child also. Nothing. They also don’t fully accept that I’m gay and they think it is a choice. So I just sit with my thoughts. Alone. Going insane. I’ve been praying to God to help me every night. I’m seeing my psychiatrist next week after waiting for these past 12 weeks. Finally. Someone can finally sit and listen to my story. I hope he can help. Because I feel lost. And and also I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and bipolar since 2016. So it’s total hell for me. #Nofriends #breakup #heartbreak #lonely #lost #Someonesaveme #BipolarDepression #Anxiety #Grief

34 reactions 12 comments

Strong Urges

#Selfblame #Selfharm #SuicideIdeation #lost

As of last week/this week of April 2023 I've been in this dark place that I cannot overcome, Last year I was diagnosed with Papillary Carcinoma a cancer that has took a lot already from me.I lost my car, my home and my job just recently...I feel broken like there is nothing left inside of me to continue to live. My thoughts are dark inside my mind all I think about is dying and how I would do it... I am on the verge of giving up entirely. I failed at being a mother, sister, and a daughter and not to mention I lost my best friend to suicide this year in January. And I honestly don't want to be here anymore, When I talk about how I feel it's like I'm talking to walls even though its other people and all I get is that "everything is going to be okay" you'll get through this" or sometimes nothing at all. I feel like I am the problem and the only way to fix the problem is to take myself out of the equation. I feel like I am a ticking time bomb that is soon to go off I am full of hurt,anger,disappointment,regret and I cannot fix those emotions and most of all I am purely tired I just want to sleep and never wake up.

I know I'm not alone in this world but I do feel like I am.

3 reactions 1 comment
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It’s been a while

Hey, so I turned 26 on the 31st of March. And I seriously thought I’d be further in a year since my divorce from an abusive narcissist. I’m not sure what to do at this point, I cannot hold a job. I have severe mental breakdowns at every interview… I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and dissociation. The place I recently tried to work, I took a mental health day because pulling into the parking lot I had a mental breakdown and couldn’t stop crying. And my boss said “ everyone has mental health problems, what makes you any different “ well I’m aware and I completely acknowledge that everyone deals with their own mental health issues, and they do it in their own ways. I can’t deal with mine the same way the next person deals with theirs.

It was suggested that I started going through menopause at age 20 or so. I had endometriosis, pcos, when I had a period. I’ve also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

I only take medication for the hypothyroidism, I stopped taking the mental medications for numerous reasons. Mainly because they weren’t helping, and I tried many over the course of 2 years. So my fear is that my mental state is because of my hormones and no one really knows what’s going on with my hormones.
The medicine for my thyroid works then stops working, my endocrinologist refuses to believe I’m menopausal . He’s still trying to get me to have a period but my body refuses.

I’m so lost, my parents act like they understand what’s going on, but when I told them I had a mental breakdown which was hard for me to do because I fear failure and telling them that, I didn’t want them to get mad at me.. well they said “you just started that job?”

I can’t sleep, and when I can, I wake up and I do not feel rested, I’m not hungry/thirsty (I do eat), I’m tired, and weak. My cognitive function and memory is getting worse every day, I tell people it’s like I’m 70-80 years old living in a 26 year old body.

I don’t understand why I’m like this, I don’t know what’s causing what. I just want it to stop long enough for me to breathe.

#Endometriosis #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Mentalbreakdown #AnxietyAttack #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Amenorrhea #DontUnderstand #lost #AbuseSurvivors #Narcassism #hormoneimbalance

17 reactions 5 comments

Somedays it seems like I can't do it #BipolarDepression

With all this stress and the pressure of everyday life it seems like I can't do it somedays. There's just too much going on right now. The constant stress is wearing me down physically, mentally and emotionally. Somedays I just want to sleep all day and ignore my responsibilities. I know this isn't possible so I have to keep moving. Just keep going about life like I'm okay which I am used to. When I was being abused no one knew until I said something because I acted like everything was okay. It's the same with depression. I hate not having any stability in between episodes. I'm so tired and just don't know what to do.

I feel trapped and yet I have to keep moving. Being where I'm at right now is hell. Every time I attempt to move on and put something behind me something else comes up. It's like a circle that I keep going round. It feeds my self loathing and low self esteem. The crying spells are becoming more frequent and even when I make attempts to calm down or manage the depression nothing seems to be working. Yes I want to learn from all of this and find a blessing in it. So far though I've had no such luck.

I try to use my therapy skills and grounding techniques but they can't relieve the pain I feel. The sense of sadness, self loathing and anxiety that I feel right now is overwhelming. I want to face what I have to with strength and grace but my faith is being tested and so is my ability to show myself grace. I have a support system, therapist and medications but I just feel so lost. I'm still tired. The mental and emotional exhaustion is more than the physical exhaustion. I can sleep all day but the stress that I am under makes it hard to work, socialize and do everyday things.

I know those of you with depression can understand. It's crippling at times and yet I have to fake a smile. Do my job and act okay. I just want to be understood. I didn't mean to rant but I've been feeling this way for a while. I just don't know what else to do at this point. I don't want to go down a dark path. I've worked so hard to overcome my tendencies to self harm and I've only attempted suicide once. I don't want to go to that dark and lonely place again. Please help.

#SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #lost #help #Depression #Anxiety

25 reactions 6 comments