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Community Voices

Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
#mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

My life has been - and is - a hot mess... and I'm lost

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder in 2019, and today, after 1.5 months at a treatment facility, not only was I bumped up to bipolar 1, I was given a new diagnosis of having borderline personality disorder.

I wasn't surprised about bipolar 1, but the BPD has put me in a tailspin. The more I've read and learned about BPD the more I am CERTAIN that I suffer from both disorders. From a logical standpoint, I am "on board" with these diagnoses as I can check off nearly every box on the giant lists of symptoms. Add in the ADHD and I am... a hot mess of a person.

I'm now questioning my own thoughts and feelings - are they valid and true or are they some sort of warped reality that I'm living in... some imagined fantasy life. Have all of my life experiences with people been lies, bull$hit and untruth/fantasy? Have I lived a fake but utterly destructive life up to this point? Am I living it currently?

Using logic, I understand who I am. But emotionally I don't know who I am anymore, and fear that my entire life has been filled with beliefs and destructive behaviors that *I created - every awful thing has been solely because of who I am.

I'm having a really tough time with all of this. I feel like I'm a tornado of a person who destroys everything in sight... I don't know how to move forward.

I'm worried I might have to once again leave my daughter at home without her Mom-Mom because I'll need to go back to the treatment facility. I'm becoming crippled with anxiety, paranoia, depression and shame.

ANY advice or insight will be received with wide open arms and a grateful heart. Thank you for taking the time to read - it's been a long time since I've been on The Mighty and I'm so glad to be back ❤️

#BPDDiagnosis #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar1Disorder #ADHD #Broken #help #Anxiety #SleepDeprivation #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Shame #Spiraling #lost #Depression

24 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I’m losing myself

I don’t know what to do anymore. No docs can figure out what is going on with my body and it is progressively getting worse. I am so down and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have so much to worry about and my son was diagnosed with MS recently.
I don’t know where to turn. #Needanswers #lost #despair #healthworsening #Pleaseprayforme

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Done with therapy, maybe

OK. Never thought I'd be on the "outside looking in". My run with awesome therapist for years has ended, they are retiring. I always said I'd stick with them until they retired. I know the stages of grief. In my head I know what to do, BUT it's still a jolt. I said, after them, I was done with therapy , but not quite sure how true that is right now. #Depression #aniety #expected eventually #Therapy #lost #Grief #helped me a ton.

20 people are talking about this
Community Voices

When your animal passes ,when is a good time to get another one?

1 person is talking about this
Community Voices

Overwhelmed

I haven’t posted about my struggles in a long time, but have wanted to for ages. I can’t take trying to get through my life and problems by myself anymore, and I really need support right now. The past two years have been the worst for me ever regarding my mental and physical health, and I’m worn down so far it’s hard to imagine getting up again. I have bipolar 2, ADD, PTSD (untreated), chronic pain, chronic fatigue, and I lost my Dad in 2020 so my grief is unbearable on top of all of the other stuff. I’ve also lost over 50 pounds in the past year or so without trying, and so far none of the doctors I’ve seen know why.

I don’t have much support beyond you guys and my bff, so I feel like I have to go through all of this by myself. I don’t have a therapist yet, but have been looking for one because I don’t know how to handle all of my emotions or all that’s happened to me. When I lost my Dad I fell headfirst into overeating, and now I have a serious problem with it, so I’ve discovered OA and am looking forward to getting involved with that. But life is very lonely right now, and I realized the other day that unlike many people I don’t have a spouse or children or grandchildren or close girlfriends, nor am I close to the few remaining family members I have. I’ve never felt so alone in my life. And I’m someone who usually enjoys being alone. But when you have multiple issues and no one to help you its “too alone”. I feel like everything is on my shoulders, and there isnt any one I can count on to help me. If tje pets need to go to the vet, if the house is out of control, if the lawn needs to be mowed, if I have a scary doctors appointment, if I’m sobbing my heart out over Dad, if I’m unable to sleep because of anxiety, whatever—I have to handle it by myself. Im so tired there aren’t any words, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

#Grief #overwhelmed #lost #Bipolar2 #ADD #ChronicIllness #Undiagnosed #lonely

44 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

My first time posting

I was diagnosed with Bipolar at the age of 16
I thought I understood and could handle everything on my own. Now, I am 44 and don't know where to turn for help. I've asked my Doctor, nurses,and online hospital forms. Yet, still nothing.
#Looking for an answer #I 'm tired #sad #lost
#Thoughts and emotions overwhelmed

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices
KRO

Feeling horrible

<p>Feeling horrible</p>
12 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Don’t know where my life is going

I have no clue where my life is going. Absolutely nothing is making me happy right now. I fed myself, I bathed myself, I did well in my office work, but my brain is still in survival mode. I am getting tired of telling my brain to stop being scared. I have been so long in this journey…I don’t know when will I be able to control my brain. How long do I have to wait for my brain to act like a normal brain? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #lost

21 people are talking about this