Why do we lose friends while we are still grieving?

What is it about grief that pushes people away? This I can not understand. Is it me? Is it my pain? Is it just to real for you to handle? Maybe it’s all of the above!?

It has been hard enough losing my son , but I have also lost other relationships as well. Am I perfect?.. No far from it, but I am viewing life differently. Maybe there are just to many reasons, excuses…. too much pain that I can’t see anymore , but I am here. I can still listen, think and feel . I can still be friend. If anything the loss of my son has shown me how to be a better one. I am not angry. Losing what I have lost, I just don’t have room in my heart to hold on to anger. I choose to hold on to what matters most. My grief doesn’t have an expiration date… for me it’s never ending. I may have reminded you of your worse fear, but it’s what I wake up to everyday. My world could be filled with dark and gloom if I allowed it to.I choose for it not to. I know I have some bad days… I’m sorry if this is too much for some. I didn’t have choice in losing my son. I do have a choice in how I choose to go on. I am here… more honest then I ever was before. I cherish the little everyday moments just as much as the big ones. I not only can feel time moving now… but I can hear it .

“ We went to the lake today Bud! I sat back beachside and watched them with you. Oh the places we will go… I will forever take you with me!”