How My Support System Helped Me Navigate Divorce When I Was Manic

Breakups are one of the most stressful things you can go through in your life, especially when you have a mental illness.

• What is Bipolar disorder?

I have bipolar disorder, and I have been through one divorce already, and am currently going through a common law separation. I have been manic since August. It’s been a complete whirlwind, but I am such an optimist. Even though there are significant stressors in my life, I still have my chin up and a smile on my face. My mental health is stable as I write this.

I know what I need for my mental health, and I was not getting the support I deserve.

My partner is the most amazing human I have ever met in my life. I still love him dearly, and will hold onto the positives of our relationship as I transition through this. It is so easy to become negative when it comes to selling houses, joint custody and just general stressors of a divorce.

That’s not my style.

I am staying positive and completely surrounding myself with my loved ones who care deeply about me. I have such an amazing support system. All my loved ones have been there for me in such a genuine way, I could not be more grateful. My mom and her husband welcomed me into their home, and have been kind enough to take care of me during this transition. As you can imagine, I am difficult to live with when I’m manic.

When I left my partner initially, I was severely manic and needed to be hospitalized for eight days. It was the most rewarding experience. I learned a lot about myself while I was in the hospital. I was set on leaving my partner while I was there, but when I was discharged, I got so confused and so severely manic that I ended up going back to him (even though my entire support system wanted me to leave). It was the hardest situation of my life.

After I went back to him, my friends were not talking to me and my family was giving me tough love about my decision. Initially, I did not care what everyone thought. I was in love and nothing was going to stop me from being with my partner.

It did not take long for my partner and I to officially, mutually separate. We knew we could not stay together when my entire support system disagreed with me being with him.

He is honestly such an amazing person, and it kills my heart we were not able to move forward with our relationship. We came to realize we each had our own struggles, and we were unable to support each other in times of need. I feel confident this separation will be the best for us in the long run, and I know he feels the same.

I hope everyone with mental illness truly works hard at building a strong support system, so when these situations happen, you have people to help you when you are in need. I feel terrible for people in relationships who have nowhere to go or no one to talk to.

There are so many crisis lines and so much unbiased support out there, and I truly encourage those in need to reach out to those hotlines.

Thank you for listening.