I was doing so well I finished DBT, got my hairdressing nvq 2/3, had a good job in which I got promoted quickly then BPD reared its ugly head and I had a complete relapse in june last year just had my 1st psych appointment after re referred to mental health and now been on a downer since Wednesday last week. This psychiatrist had no idea about me or my previous notes, this was a new psych so didnt trust him as far as I could throw him and I just felt that oh so familiar feeling of being belittled and that it's for attention. My 9 yr old daughter understand me better than he did. Since the apt I've dissassoicating myself, my boyfriend whose never seen me in full bpd mode is lost, my parents as always are at a loss and I just feel tired. I'm tired of the battle in my own head, questioning every feeling and emotion and not knowing if I can make it through another relapse. I feel so alone, like this freak who stands out with giant neon signs above head pointing my bpd out to the world. My daughter, god bless her got royally screwed in the parent department with a non existent sperm donor for a father and me the bpd drama queen as a mother. My parents take control of parenting her to protect her from an "episode" which as you can imagine makes me feel even smaller. I'm just a failure in everything! What's the point?! #bpdmum #Bpdsucks