𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡

I wish I didn’t feel like I’m a burden to you.
I wish I didn’t have trouble believing you when you say that you care about me, because I perceive some of your actions otherwise.
I wish I didn’t lay on the floor crying and screaming at the top of my lungs so that my neighbors would ask me if I’m okay when they saw me.
I wish I didn’t drive around town on a regular basis with hot tears rolling down my cheeks.
I wish I didn’t have bruises on my arms from inflicting physical pain as a way of decreasing my emotional pain.
I wish I didn’t need constant reassurance that you’re not mad at me.
I wish I didn’t remember almost every bad thing you’ve done or said to me.
I wish I didn’t feel emotions so freaking intensely.
I wish I didn’t think of suicide so many times a day.
I wish I didn’t feel the need to turn to strong drugs as a way of drowning out my deep emotional anguish.
I wish I didn’t cry myself to sleep on most nights.
I wish I didn’t fall asleep in the embrace of my own hug – as a way to provide some comfort to myself.
I wish I didn’t fantasize about not waking up the next morning.
I wish I didn’t wake up in the morning thinking “why am I still alive”.
I wish you’d accept my compliments because I always mean it.
I wish my life didn’t feel so painfully unbearable.

I wish you didn’t have to feel like you’re walking on eggshells every time you speak to me.
I wish your comments wouldn’t trigger such intense emotional responses.
I wish you’d understand that I don’t trust easily, so when I say I trust you – I mean it.
I wish you’d accept my compliments because they're always genuine.
I wish you’d reach out to me more frequently.
I wish you’d check up on me from time to time.
I wish you’d care about me half as much as I care about you.

And above all,

What I truly wish for ……is not to suffer from BPD

by: BPDBravery Borderline Personality Disorder #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #bpdwarrior #bpdlife #Bpdstruggles #bpdsurvivor