EUPD

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New Diagnosis

29.08.2019 (a message sent to a friend):
“I think I suffer from BPD

16.05.2022 (said by a doctor in person*):
“I’m diagnosing you with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Do you know what that is?”

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* = I cannot remember the exact words, but this was the gist of it

BPD is called EUPD here in the UK. I was told this a few months ago when I first started the fight for a diagnosis. I didn’t realise how long I suspected it until the other week, when I found the original message expressing my concern to my best friend.

I didn’t get the opportunity to suggest it to my doctor until I moved away from home. And after that, I had to gain the strength to ask about it. A diagnosis is final. I can’t think it’s something else when I get diagnosed. But, saying “I might have BPD” to explain my difficulties gets tiring. I wanted the certainty, not living under a self-diagnosis.

I have no issues with self-dx, especially since it’s what I had to go by for almost 3 years. However, being self-dx meant that it was just that. There was no certainty, I couldn’t argue if someone said “are you sure?” (thankfully no-one did), I couldn’t get help related to it. And I ultimately just felt uncomfortable.

//

I wasn’t expecting a diagnosis today. Last time I mentioned it, the doctor didn’t seem keen, saying it could be bipolar disorder instead, among other potentials. Today was just supposed to be an appointment that messed around with my medication and looked at previous contact with the mental health services.

But I twigged about halfway into the appointment. When she started asking the questions. I met the 5 criteria she mentioned, and she didn’t have to mention any others. Even when I said one was probably a trauma response. I guess it was both.

It didn’t make it any less surreal when she said the words though. After 3 years to be told that yes my suspicions were right.

I’m not sure how a diagnosis will change things in terms of help. I thought maybe I would be able to be put on medication to perhaps regulate my mood, but apparently medication isn’t very effective. And I was already put on the waiting list of DBT. I guess we’ll wait and see.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD #Diagnosis #SelfDiagnosis #DBT

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Community Voices

Eating disorder impact on family

I’m really struggling with my eating disorder and have been for a while now. I also have bpd and my self esteem is rock bottom. I live with my family and have been arguing with them so badly recently. They are worried about me and cannot cope with it and say I aren’t helping myself and need to meet them half way. I just don’t feel like I deserve to or need to eat. I use it as self harm and I feel so alone. No one seems to get that it not as simple as clicking my fingers and I can just manage 3 square meals a day. The meer thought of it is totally overwhelming and I’m at a point where I just don’t want to be here any more but I have to be for the people that care about me. I’m so sick and tired of living this life. I’m trapped. #EatingDisorders #BPD #EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder #Selfharm #Restriction #hopeless #Depression #Family #alone

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Real Inner Healing

<p>Real Inner Healing</p>
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Why

Overwhelming feeling, shaking, loud… shouting why am I here, I don’t want to be here. I can hear so much but so little. It hurts, makes me feel sick. Clawing at my arms seeing them turn red ….. but what else can I do, I try my best I don’t want to feel this way anymore… but I will over and over and over again… you need to be strong you need to get up you need to live….

I don’t want to anymore but I will as that’s what everyone wants me to do, and me being me will put them first but that’s what they don’t understand is me being living and waking up everyday is for them…. I don’t want to do this anymore.

#EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder

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It’s another day

Another day where the day was ok but today I don’t want to be in the world

A day where I I feel so very fragile and lost

A day where I feel like everything is hurting my heart although nothing actually is.

A day of fighting not breaking into tears purely because I’m awake.

A day of feeling like everyone hates me.

A day of just wanting to curl up in a ball.

No one around me has done anything wrong I’m just over sensitive and everything hurts, I can actually feel the pain in my heart and chest and heart is racing. It hurts it really hurts

But I know tomorow has a chance of being a better day….. there’s a chance…. It not be but I have to cling on to the fact that it could be… maybe…. Please tell me it will be…. Because this hurts #EUPD #Anotherday #TOMORROW #Anxiety #PTSD #hurt #Pain

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Emma

I’m new here

Hi I’m new to “the mighty” and I’m looking forward to following people journeys and connecting with new people, being able to help others and hopefully learning new things myself!

#ADHD #EUPD #BPD #MightyTogether

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