EUPD

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    Is EUPD a psychotic disorder?

    If you have EUPD, you may get into a borderline psychotic condition where you experience extreme doubt in yourself and others. You cycle rapidly between moods, and may move from despair to euphoria in a very short time. It’s common for you to feel extremely bad, and to feel a great deal of shame if you have these problems.#EUPD #MentalIllness

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    Appreciate your thoughts on therapy

    Hi there - genuinely in a difficult space needing to hear some others thoughts on this scenario - i have 5.0.0.5 years of therapy with current amazing psychologist T - i have had previous therapy before and never experienced what i will describe happening today. My history is child se-ual abuse, eating disorders, then into therapy where i was groomed and abused there too. mixed painful experiences.

    This year I’ve had this strong feeling for needing comfort/hugs. i don't really have a place where that happens. Earlier in year i got sick from overdose & could have died. my T was with me, first time i asked for a hug, she said, “i would love to” and hugged me. 2 months later i asked for a hug and she hugged back but i left feeling like i had abused her. then she was off sick for 5 months.

    since coming back to therapy, I've done my very best to be honest with T. told her about feelings of needing hugs & feeling like id abused her. She said i hadn’t abused her and she could have said no, (which she has done with people but not me) she also said its okay to want your needs met. but when i have felt like a hug since i don’t ask her - i told her i don’t ask her. i don't know why i am feeling so unsafe and needing that physical comfort. some part of me wishes she would ask if i need a hug at the times i need that but I’m pretty sure any therapist can't ask that- it needs to be client led. it's like i want to know that she cares enough to want to hug and i am not forcing but i can't seem to accept or understand what genuine care is. i get so confused and i am guessing this is stemming from my previous abusive experiences. This T has gone above and beyond for me in ways before - when hospitalised buying me self-care products, pyjamas, and writing a wee card. We have a very strong rapport 5.5years into therapy. thank you for your help #Therapy  #MentalHealth  #CPTSD  #PTSD  #Trauma  #attachment  #Abuse  #psychology  #BPD  #EUPD

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    Hallucinations

    Tell me it’s okay. Tell me it’s not real.
    Tell me it won’t happen again.
    Tell me why this happened. #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #BPDDiagnosis

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    #Anxiety #EUPD #Childhoodtrauma

    I'm sick of getting nowhere asking cmht for meds for eupd and anxiety, so seriously ready to order online.
    Question is, whats the best for anxiety? I've been told cbd and promethazine.
    Is there anything better than quetiapine for eupd?
    And what the hell can I do with childhood trauma?? I think it's borderline ptsd. But not diagnosed.
    Have a psych appointment Friday. If nothing changes, I'll deal with it myself.

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    Another day, another appointment

    Saw my therapist today and we discussed why all the trauma from my childhood had come out in the last eighteen months or so, agreeing was most likely because of my marriage breakdown. I've decided that, much as I want to be friends with my ex, it's not going to do my mental health any good. I broached the topic of #PTSD and what constituted it but my therapist said it was more likely that I had #CPTSD , given how long it had been going on.
    Anyway, does anyone have any reputable sources that I could use for research?
    It's all a bit of a minefield and I don't want to be reading something that'll make me worse, if that makes sense.
    I'm having an OK time at the moment and am finding it helpful writing stuff down, so I suppose I should just keep on doing what works.
    ##Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder #Cancer #BipolarDisorder

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    New Diagnosis

    29.08.2019 (a message sent to a friend):
    “I think I suffer from BPD

    16.05.2022 (said by a doctor in person*):
    “I’m diagnosing you with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Do you know what that is?”

    ———————————
    * = I cannot remember the exact words, but this was the gist of it

    BPD is called EUPD here in the UK. I was told this a few months ago when I first started the fight for a diagnosis. I didn’t realise how long I suspected it until the other week, when I found the original message expressing my concern to my best friend.

    I didn’t get the opportunity to suggest it to my doctor until I moved away from home. And after that, I had to gain the strength to ask about it. A diagnosis is final. I can’t think it’s something else when I get diagnosed. But, saying “I might have BPD” to explain my difficulties gets tiring. I wanted the certainty, not living under a self-diagnosis.

    I have no issues with self-dx, especially since it’s what I had to go by for almost 3 years. However, being self-dx meant that it was just that. There was no certainty, I couldn’t argue if someone said “are you sure?” (thankfully no-one did), I couldn’t get help related to it. And I ultimately just felt uncomfortable.

    //

    I wasn’t expecting a diagnosis today. Last time I mentioned it, the doctor didn’t seem keen, saying it could be bipolar disorder instead, among other potentials. Today was just supposed to be an appointment that messed around with my medication and looked at previous contact with the mental health services.

    But I twigged about halfway into the appointment. When she started asking the questions. I met the 5 criteria she mentioned, and she didn’t have to mention any others. Even when I said one was probably a trauma response. I guess it was both.

    It didn’t make it any less surreal when she said the words though. After 3 years to be told that yes my suspicions were right.

    I’m not sure how a diagnosis will change things in terms of help. I thought maybe I would be able to be put on medication to perhaps regulate my mood, but apparently medication isn’t very effective. And I was already put on the waiting list of DBT. I guess we’ll wait and see.

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD #Diagnosis #SelfDiagnosis #DBT

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    Eating disorder impact on family

    I’m really struggling with my eating disorder and have been for a while now. I also have bpd and my self esteem is rock bottom. I live with my family and have been arguing with them so badly recently. They are worried about me and cannot cope with it and say I aren’t helping myself and need to meet them half way. I just don’t feel like I deserve to or need to eat. I use it as self harm and I feel so alone. No one seems to get that it not as simple as clicking my fingers and I can just manage 3 square meals a day. The meer thought of it is totally overwhelming and I’m at a point where I just don’t want to be here any more but I have to be for the people that care about me. I’m so sick and tired of living this life. I’m trapped. #EatingDisorders #BPD #EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder #Selfharm #Restriction #hopeless #Depression #Family #alone

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    Mental Health Awareness Month

    May is a time to raise awareness of those living with mental or behavioral health issues and to help reduce the stigma so many experience.

    #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAdvocacy #Anxiety #Depression #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #emotionallyunstablepersonalitydisorder #BorderlineBilly

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    Real Inner Healing

    Real inner healing doesn't come with a pill it comes from being prepared to give up what is making you sick.

    That's not just certain foods or habits but the emotional patterns of behaviour that you sabotage yourself with.

    #MentalHealth #personalitydisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #EUPD

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    Can anyone help me through BPD? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EUPD #CPTSD #Anxiety #ChronicDepression

    Please can anybody help me? I’ve taken a screenshot of the text in the pictures. This is just one example that happened the other day. Nobody seems to care or wants to help me professionally or family. I’m so tired. I’m tired of being tired. Tired of fighting every day just to get out of bed and most of all tired of trying when it just always backfires at me ten fold. I know I have flaws and there are lots about me that I hate. Some things I try to control, some things I find so difficult to control. I do have outbursts when someone has hurt one of my children and used to resort to confrontation. But I got a few weeks therapy after being diagnosed with BPD four years ago at the age of 35 and it helped me so much. It has taught me some very valuable and healthier ways to try and resolve problems. The CMHT discharged me a long time ago. I have tried multiple times to get some therapy since and they say they don’t offer DBT on the NHS and I don’t fit the criteria for any other help. I feel as though I’m drowning. I lost custody of my kids when I got sectioned for 28 days as I had psychosis which was so terrifying. I’d never had it that bad before. That’s when they told me about BPD 4 years ago and that’s what I had been assessed for in those weeks I was sectioned. My family always call me names like psycho, embarrassment, I’m a joke, grow up, snap out of it, mental and it hurts. Not so much if it’s others but so hard when it’s family and they have my kids. So if I don’t do exactly what they say I don’t get to see my children. They hold all the cards and boy do they use them. People have told them how awful I’m treated and how can my mum treat my sister so differently to me. They’ve said this to my mum who is so snobby and calls them degenerates or druggies when they are nothing like that. I got off drugs and been clean for over 3 years now. I’ve jumped through hoops to prove to my family that I’m trying so hard to make them proud of me but they say it’s too little too late. I went on drugs after losing custody. For 14 years my kids were all I had and I was a good mum. But struggled with mental health a lot. It was only the psychosis incident when I got sectioned they found out and confirmed what I had. I’ve said sorry so many times and I always apologise for things that aren’t my fault to to keep the peace. They badmouth me to anyone who will listen. But luckily most people in my area I now what they’re like. I cannot and will not ever be able to do anything close that would thank them for having my two boys. It was meant to be temporary but they kept on reporting things to social services that weren’t even true. So because they’re settled there I can’t get them back which kills ke because I feel like now what’s the point? What’s the point in anything? My mum said herself I’m not the parent anymore. I honestly feel I don’t deserve to breathe