CarersSupportingCarers

My daughter didn’t grow up sick.

One day she was healthy—living her life like any other young person—and then something changed.

And what followed wasn’t clarity… it was a grey area.

A stretch of time where I didn’t fully understand what was happening.
Where I could see she wasn’t okay—but I didn’t yet know how to respond.

And if I’m honest, there were moments where I questioned it.

Not because I didn’t care—
but because I was trying to make sense of something that didn’t make sense.

There were voices around me too:
“Teenagers these days all think something is wrong with them.”
“Maybe she just needs to push through…”

And somewhere in all of that, I found myself stuck between:
She’s clearly struggling…
and
Is she doing everything she can to help herself?

So I did what I thought was right.

I tried to fix it.

I tried to manage her day, suggest solutions, encourage, push gently…
constantly offering advice because I wanted so badly to make her feel better.

Until one day she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Mum, I know you mean well, but you’re just reminding me how sh***y my life is.”

And another time:
“I feel like a character in your video game.”

That hit hard.

Because I realised—I wasn’t actually supporting her the way she needed.
I was trying to control something that wasn’t mine to control.

That was my turning point.

I began to understand that this is her journey.

And my role isn’t to fix it.
It’s to be beside her. To support her. To really see her.

⸻

What I’ve also come to understand is this:

Because behind everything…
they are still young people trying to figure out who they are.

They’re still navigating identity, friendships, independence, and their future—
but without the same energy, freedom, or certainty.

And as mothers, we’re holding all of it.

The illness.
The emotions.
The uncertainty.
And the grief of what we thought life might look like.

⸻

This space is for mothers like me.

Mothers who:

• Didn’t get it perfect from the start

• Have questioned, doubted, and learned along the way

• Are trying to shift from fixing to supporting

• Are carrying more than most people realise

You don’t have to filter yourself here.

You can be honest about:

• The guilt
• The frustration
• The love
• The exhaustion

This is a space where we support each other—not by having all the answers,
but by understanding what this really feels like.

If you feel comfortable, introduce yourself.
Where you’re at in your journey, and what you need right now.

You’re not alone in this ❤️ XOXO

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