I’m new here!
Hi, my name is Anoushka06.
I look at this app a lot and I cry . I cry because I could speak on so many things and yet none. I was abandoned at 2yrs old. Molested most of my youth by a relative who I never told anyone of. I was taped as a teen . Attempted suicide at 19. Later on I had 2 children whom I have tried so hard to protect but the universe conspires against me. I have gone beyond just my children. I have been the safe place for all of the children’s friends. Several who still call me mom. I adopted one. And been forced to give one up to the system. I have been beaten and raped as a mother. I no longer sleep in my bedroom because the demons stay in there . The nightmares take my breath. I have idiopathic scleroderma, idiopathic neuropathy , memory loss and cerebral atrophy first found about 5yrs back when I was experiencing my first panic attack. The flashbacks grow stronger. The silence gets louder and I grow even more tired. I wait for the children to leave so I can cry alone. I wait for them to grow up and realize that mom was broken and they too will raise children and strive to not be like me. Funny how the circle continues. No matter how hard I try