The People We Go to When Our Health Is at Its Lowest

Many of us go through rough times, whether it’s at the hands of mental illness, chronic illness, living with a disability, etc. For those of us who are lucky enough to have people we feel we can turn to when we’re in despair, feeling broken, fed-up and defeated, it can feel like both a blessing and a curse at times.

The person we text when we’re in desperate need of reassurance, support, a shoulder to cry on, somewhere to vent or even just to be listened to, may not even be our closest friend. They may not be a family member, a parent or best friend. They could be an acquaintance. They may even be someone we’ve never met. Someone we know only online, but they see a side and level to us that not many others do.

They see a vulnerable side, what we try to cover up or keep to ourselves.

But what they offer us when we’re at our lowest is invaluable and actually makes them, really, the most important person in our life. I’m not saying they’re of higher importance to you than your partner, parent or child, but if you think about the amount of times they may have convinced you that you do have something worth living for, that you are strong enough to overcome your obstacles, or just listened to your deepest fears and upsets – they have helped you get through some pretty dark times. They’ve helped you get through some tough battles and moments of despair. Cries for help.

They may well be the reason why you’re still here at all.

And chances are, if they’re the same person you always go to, it’s because they don’t judge you. They are reliable and supportive, and that’s a valuable person to have in your life.

When we are hurting physically, mentally, or emotionally, we often need an outlet – whether that’s screaming into a pillow, doing something creative or venting it to another person. It’s healthy to do so and bottling it up usually just results in a worst outburst later on down the line. But after we turn to someone to vent it out, we may end up feeling silly, embarrassed or ashamed for letting down our wall, after the dust has settled. And we think to ourselves, “I should have kept that to myself.” We may even send countless texts apologizing for our behavior afterwards, of which we don’t need to apologize.

But we don’t want to bother someone else with our burdens.

However, we go back to the same person when life becomes just a bit too much again because they help.

This person and the support they provide are so important.

Part of the reason we have managed to last so long at the hands of our personal difficulties, is likely due to their support and friendship when we turn to them. You may not have even realized this. Perhaps they realize we’re struggling before even we do ourselves, checking in on us or encouraging us to open up, noticing our patterns. The chances are, though, they don’t know just how important a person they are to us when we send text after text, rambling away about all the thoughts in our head, which come out in a muddle. They’re probably not aware of how much they help us, even if they worry their replies aren’t too helpful, because just being there for us often helps.

It would be easy for them to run away when someone comes to them a blubbering mess, angry, frustrated, low or all of those things. But they don’t. And for that, we’re so very grateful.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 741-741.