If You Live With a Chronic Illness, I Bet You’d Benefit From Seeing a Therapist

I know people are always telling you how to manage your chronic condition as if they know better than you, so please don’t get mad when I throw this out there:

You should see a therapist for your chronic health care needs.

That’s right, I’m recommending you “talk to someone,” as they say.

Sorry to be so bossy — I am actually quite sure that you’ve got your sh*t together. But, even so.

If you’re living life with chronic illness, I’m betting you’d benefit from seeing a therapist, counselor or other similarly qualified practitioners. I know, because that’s what’s happened to me.

I started attending sessions with a licensed clinical social worker, who provides psychotherapy, during an extremely traumatic period of my chronic health journey about two and a half years ago.

On top of the idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH) I’d already been living with for the better part of a decade, one day my bowels suddenly decided to stop functioning properly. I then developed shooting pains across my abdomen, and stabbing pains in my lower right quadrant. The pains persisted for weeks, then months. Then my chronic hives kicked off.

The even bigger problem, I’d soon come to realize, was how difficult my new symptoms would prove to diagnose. I was paddled between doctors like a ping-pong ball, and it seemed like every specialist who couldn’t determine a diagnosis also didn’t want the responsibility of treating me. I began to feel like no one cared about me at all.

Physically, I was miserable. Emotionally, I was terrified.

I felt as if I’d lost all sense of control.

During those months of answerless back-and-forth, my fears were running wild. I grew more worried with each passing day. I couldn’t fathom what mysterious malady could be causing my pain and discomfort, nor what would happen if it all continued unchecked.

Then one day, after I broke down in tears of fear and frustration in my primary care provider’s office, it was suggested I “talk to someone.”

While seeking counseling wasn’t the solution to my physical ailments, I have come to believe accepting that recommendation was one of my best … decisions … ever.

I began seeing Deb — not her real name — shortly thereafter, and was able to release all of my fears and frustrations in her safe, cozy little office.

I didn’t realize how much I’d been holding in.

Deb helped me through the worst of that time, and since our first meetings, she has taught me so many things.

First and foremost, she helped me learn how to better advocate for myself as I navigate the health care system (even though I already thought I was a pro). As an invaluable, unbiased resource, she helped me parse out the pros and cons of treatment options, and where next to turn for medical advice.

Beyond that, Deb taught me to talk myself through my scary nightly hive breakthroughs and increases in pain. Then she reminded me to breathe — actually, she reminded me how. She helped me see how the mind and body are connected, so I could understand how the way I’d been emotionally responding to my very scary, protracted health issues could be contributing to them as well.

And that’s just scratching the surface.

I’ve been chronically ill my entire adult life, and it doesn’t seem like that’s about to change anytime soon. So, it helps to have someone like Deb, who cares about me but doesn’t have any vested interest in my life, to talk through the ups and downs with.

After well over a year, it was determined I have a genetic trait called hereditary alpha tryptasemia. But because the trait is newly identified and thus little is known, so far doctors have been quick to say they can’t be sure that’s necessarily the cause of all – or any – of what I’ve experienced. In essence, we’ve learned some things, but we’re still clueless. And I’m still dealing with many of the symptoms.

Though I do seem to be through the worst bits of that experience (knock on wood), I still go visit Deb on a regular basis. Now, we tend to talk about how I’m handling the more global impacts of chronic illness on my life.

Because of the cards I’ve been dealt, I’m not exactly where I imagined I’d be at this point in my life, nor am I doing what I thought I’d be doing, etc. But that’s OK because like Deb says – despite it all, I have my sh*t together.

I’ve just got some things to contend with which are beyond my control.

It’s important to remember that none of this is our fault. We’re doing the best we can. We have our sh*t together, apart from the bits which are beyond our control.

Deb never lets me leave an appointment without reminding me to take good care of myself (the emotional as much as the physical). I carry that with me and try to act upon it every day.

I hope you take good care of yourself, too.