I'm Tired of Living on the Edge With Chronic Pain During the Pandemic

Living with chronic pain certainly brings on many challenges. We work on finding effective and affordable pain relief, medical support, compassion and understanding from family and friends, and regaining purpose and meaning in life. This all takes a tremendous amount of work and is often overwhelming. The effects of the pandemic on top of this rougher life are not a welcome addition.

I don’t know about you, but I have waves of moments that hit me in the face — the reality that surviving COVID would be terribly rough and the potential long-term aftereffects debilitating is just frightening to even think about. And of course, those of us already living with a chronic medical condition also have to face that contracting COVID could possibly be fatal. So we spend day after day, week after week, and now month after month, trying to avoid exposure while balancing life with what we have already been asked to cope with.

Some days I can handle it all, and some days I just feel empty and broken. I wish there was a way to have more of those better days to hold onto in the present. There are days I beat myself up emotionally for not handling the day better. It is so confusing to wake up one day feeling positive and productive and the next feeling helpless due to the decrease of energy and increase of pain.

If you are like me, the possible side effects of a vaccine would be far easier to deal with than getting COVID. I can’t begin to imagine the emotion one must feel after getting both shots, realizing you are now safer to go back and live your life. The thought of not having that “COVID fear” as you move around and live a fuller life seems like such a fantastic gift. But as we wait for our turn, let’s be sure to keep an eye out for those that will need assistance getting their vaccine booked. Our small town, Scituate, RI has contacted the vulnerable and older people and keeps us updated on the process. And, they have offered rides to any person that needs assistance. I am proud of my town but am sure that is not being offered in all towns.

As we wait for our turn, please keep your eyes and ears open to help reach out and assist with the process for those that need help. Someday, you and I will also get to celebrate like those already posting about their vaccinations. And by the way, we just can’t wait to take that train to NYC to see our family we have been separated from for months, including a 10-month-old granddaughter we’ve only met once. It’s almost here!