Well today my dad flew off the handle again. Luckily didn't have a full blown panic attack but my anxiety sure kicked in. Four hours later and my heart is still beating like a mad dog and my arms feel shakey. Just going outside sometimes is a struggle and then when it's a struggle to go into my own apartment it's even worse. Oh well, could have been worse I guess. Just needed to get that off my chest. #Anxiety #dadissues
My dad get drunk again.
I usually don't care about it, but this time, my FP was here, and saw everything, my dad was sleeping in the couch, the living room smelled like cigarettes and alcohol.
I was vulnerable.My FP saw me like that, i cat let him sees me like that.
I cut my leg 'whore' because i feel like i am a fucking whore, i feel like i deserve all the pain, and i blame my father, BUT HE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He doesn't even care. He doesn't ever apologize. He seems happy the next day.
I seem happy the next day, too.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #dadissues #Depression #selfmutilation
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