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The Comment I Wish People Stopped Saying About Raising Kids With Disabilities

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“I don’t know how you do it.”

It’s a comment every parent of a child with disabilities or additional needs has heard.

I know I have.

More than once. Add to that also being a military wife, and it’s a double whammy!

It’s a question that makes me scratch my head. I mean, I know most people mean well and just don’t know what to say. But here’s the thing:

What choice do I have?

These are my beautiful kids.

They were born with hearing loss.

So, there really is no other option.  I roll my sleeves up and parent them the best way I can.

I advocate for them.

I ensure they have access to accommodations.

I make sure they are equipped with the best technology.

I find top-notch professionals to advise and support us.

I surround them with people who will champion for them.

I unload a can of whoop-ass on anyone who thinks it’s funny to mock their disability.

I love them.

That’s it.

That’s how I do it.  Just like the way any other momma would do for hers.

And what would I rather someone say?

Try saying to the momma of a child with disabilities:

You are amazing!

Are you OK?

Let’s get coffee.

Tell me more about your child’s diagnosis.

You are an awesome advocate.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

I know it can be hard, but you are doing a great job.

I see you.

That’s it. Every person, no matter what they are going through, just wants to be seen.

Mommas of kids with disabilities — I see you!



A version of this story was originally published on My Battle Call’s Facebook page.

Getty image by solarseven

Originally published: January 17, 2019
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