So to the day is the day that I have been waiting for ,for over a month now my doctored appointment and my test results for what seems like has tuck a life time to get when in fact it's been tow years,

So I go up and felt a little anxious but motivedted so decided to to weed the front garden and plant some plants dick over the front garden and sort out veg patch out all in all I was a ok day happy content is a better word that happy to be honest then came the dreaded phone call from my doctor with my results and to go over my meds and see how I have been so I got the results that I have IBS which will be controlled with moor tablets yeaaa me we then spoke about my migraine and she maid the choice to change my meds as they are not geting any better .

So after speaking about them tow things she said ok speak to you on 20th I'm like wait I have not finished yet I not been able to get my actual doctor on the phone or in person for over tow years now her response well you have to make it fast I have other lations at this point anger kicked in but I keep it contained so i go on by telling her about my anti depressants and doing pheropy wait for it this is the best part her response is that don't matter at the moment we have just changed 3 of your meds we will sort that out before we sort your mental health out .

Ok sorry in advance rant Alpert wtf I tell my doctor I concerned about my mental health witch I was diagnosed with , by the way I'm over 35 now and she says I could be down to the fact that you have had a ongoing problem for tow years with your stomach,first of all I know my mental health and I know what is what when it comes to my mental health I should do I hav dealt with it long ago so the fact that I have been feeling like self harming and so down I have wanted to kill myself ,and her response is we will sort that out next time is it me or is that wrong ,I'm confused are doctors not in the job of helping these days ,

I have had nothing but problems with the lack of giving a fuck by any doctor since the beging of this god dam pandemic and yes I can appreciate that my situation with the stomach and pandemic on top and not maid my depression and self harm and willingness to want to carry on has not been maid better but to say it's all down to that is bull I have dealt with mental health a lot longer than I have had this particular problem with my stomach , this is the problem with doctors you try to get the help you need and all you get is next time we don't have time to talk about it this time ok I'll just make my mental health take a brake yea cause that's the way shit works I'm sorry for the bad language I'm just so anger and defeeted right now I don't know why I bother trying to help myself this is why people don't want to go to the doctor's about there mental health cause they ether get jugment or lack of willingness to help .

I'm just so fed up that I don't know why I bother any moor I really do not #depprshion #anxiaty