I'm not exactly new here. I have begun sharingore frequently, and that's new!
I'm out to really connect with people who get me ory words, who share experiences that reflect similarities. Shared diagnosis as well as recovery/management of symptoms.
I've been living with BPD, ADHD, CPTSD SUICIDAL IDEATION AND ADDICTION. there are your usuals too...depression and social anxiety n fear in crowded spaces. I have conversations all day in my head. I can't say hello though. Be it a possible romantic pursuit, shared interest or what not.
I've been chasing sobriety of my mental health symptoms, to rid myself of them. I'm no closer. I spent decades buryingy traumas. Then the symptoms I medicated n then some. Symptoms were honestly my only real known emotions. I was a child processed they the state system Vs raised by any one family. I'm a father now n struggle to feel like a dad. It's a deeply disorienting sensation. I don't know what to feel but hatred and anger and indifference and defeat. I fake the positive ones hoping I'll recognize the good feelings when I reach a point to learn what they feel like. Can ANYBODY relate?