Everything that can go wrong will go wrong- it might as well be our family motto! #CPTSD #Ehlers -danlos#fibromyalga #dvsurvivior #Autism
So this week I’m supposed to be having surgery on my foot - a foot that’s been damaged for 13 years. At that time I was in a dv relationship and over something trivial (I forget it’s all something of a blur) my foot was stomped on. hard.?I remember thinking f**k that’s broken, but of course I never got it checked or treated. Over the years after leaving the relationship my foot has played up from time to time and hurt on and off. I ignored it for many years, partly as a symptom of my c-ptsd (I’m not important enough to worry about, that kind of mindset) and partly because it took many years to be able to face up to me he trauma of my past. Fast forward 13 years to this February and a minor fall with my toddler aggravates the injury enough to the point I get it checked (or more my new husband pushed me into it) the injury I had sustained 13 years ago was called a lisfranc fracture and the bones in my foot are now in need of pinning together in surgery. I got a call last Thursday saying there a cancellation for Wednesday would I like it. YES, amazing, I rush around rearranging work, getting the covid test I need and isolate pending my surgery.
Then Monday morning my husband hand that has been playing up for a week or so starts to become particularly painful and swell - a trip to a and e is in order. He’s now in hospital 40 miles away after being transferred from the local hospital awaiting surgery on his hand on intravenous antibiotics and may lose his finger. He’s being kept in until at least Friday so my surgery Wednesday well that’s unlikely to happen. I have no childcare for my 2 children nor anyone to collect me from hospital (I have to be collected in a car I can’t leave on public transport). This is just typical of mine and my husbands luck and the “it never rains but it pours” thing we seem to have going on.
To give you an idea weve been together 6 years, married for 3 in that time we’ve been though
• Losing twins
•Me having a breakdown as the trauma of the miscarriage triggered my remembering many of the traumas from my dv relationship
•My husband losing 3 jobs and fighting 2 pretty major legal battles to try and keep the jobs all because employers can’t understand and make adjustments for his autism (yes I know that’s illegal)
• A MAJOR fall out with my family caused by my narcissistic mother
• A difficult and stressful pregnancy that put me in hospital many times
•Me losing 3 family members throughout my pregnancy (grandmother, cousin, uncle) and then my grandma a week after I gave birth. Me having to go to each funaral alone due to the falling out with family
•A birth that ended in our son not breathing in nicu and with sepsis
•6 days after the birth of my son me being rushed back to hospital and nearly dying and then diagnosed with heart failure
• My mental health deteriorating to the point I was almost sectioned in the year after my sons birth
• Oh and a pandemic
And now this, can we get a break anytime soon please!