empy

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    Just me?

    Ever become obsessed with something? Could be anything like a song, celebrity, tv show, idea, religion, etc. It seems like that is the only time you feel anything at all otherwise you are just empty of emotion or really sad, I am in situations where I know I should feel happy or excited but I feel nothing, I am good at faking emotions because I have been doing it for years. I have a hard time expressing expressing when I am dissatisfied because I have learned that people don’t listen to me about my worries or concerns. I am the person who starts to tell a story or relay information and someone else decides that what I am saying doesn’t interest them and starts talking over me or changes the subject. I have been taught that it is rude to express dissatisfaction or negative emotions even if it is valid. I have a loving and supportive spouse but I still go through depression episodes where I feel so sad I just want to hide in bed and cry. I am on medication and it is working but I seem to go through periods where I feel like this and long stretches where I am doing really well. I have chronic fatigue and pain. I work full time and have a part time job to get spending money. I have been wanting to cry for weeks but never can. It feels good to write my situation down even if nothing comes of it. #empy #obsessed #frustrated

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    Glad I found this #empy #fearful

    I hope I will find a place here to open up. I have only one person in my life and she lives far away and not able to visit. She is my mom.

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