fightingtosurvive

The dark monster eats you slowly, savouring each bite when it gets to you brain. Sometimes, it takes a break not because it’s gone but just lurking somewhere deep inside you. Waiting.

The mind tries to fight back everyday but healing is slow, painfully slow to grow back what the dark monster had chewed off. You wondered why you are in this living hell and if there is a miracle pill or a knight in a shining armour who can make it all better. Everyday is a struggle as I put up this normal front to go out to the world and take on all the different roles.

Today is no different. It’s one of my bad days. But I know the 24 hours will be over soon and maybe just maybe the dark monster would take a break so I can have an ok day tomorrow.
#BeStrong #fightingtosurvive #Depression

Oh, I didn’t know lucidity existed, from this so called mental illness I have been going throu #gh for the last 4 to 5 years since I was able to recognize it as what is actually is, and have it treated and fighting to survive.
I have had phases, better and good. But this is totally different. This moment I don’t know how long it would last. But man, I feel happy, my face keeps smiling without me knowing. My face is glowing of happiness, appreciation, and proudness. How far I have come.
The last three days I have been energetic, hygiene, taking care of myself, organized, standing tall and yeah that freaky smile; like everyone sees me in colour while the rest of the world is in black and white. Like I see myself in colour and I walk looking ahead standing tall on my feet.
I googled the meaning of lucidity It says clarity of expression I just wonder how long it would last and before the negativity kicks in I say to myself I am going to enjoy this and be selfish I get to be happy I deserve to be happy I am going to live in the present and not worry too much about could bee’s and would bee’s #MentalIllness #Anxiety #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #fightingtosurvive #fightingdepression