When Both You and Your Mom Have Chronic Illness
I have so many admissions into hospitals that I have completely lost count, years ago. Between spinal fusions (three), staff infections, not knowing what was wrong with my stomach for years and then finally figuring out that it was idiopathic refractory gastroparesis, the admissions list is excessively long.
Through all of those admits my mother was always there every day, day in and day out no matter what. Always kept a smile on her face for me and always came with all her love and support. (And some chocolate too but shh! Lol.)
Lately I’ve been on other side of the bed and damn does it give a whole other level of appreciation and respect to my mother. She never once complained about being there, always brought things that put a smile on my face or make me laugh or just sit there while I took a nap through the awful pain and nausea or just complete exhaustion. She was always there. Always my strength and my voice of reasons on the days where I just wanted out, to get the hell out of there and go home. Knowing full well that wasn’t the best answer to my illness issues. But man did I want to leave, dozens of times.
I now find myself on the other side of the bed and most recently on just the other end of the phone due to COVID restrictions in the rehab facility she was transferred to. Damn it, this sucks. I don’t care how old you are. You miss your mother in one way, shape or form. That is if you are lucky as I am to still have my mother in my life. The strength it must have taken her to see me like that, so sickly and helpless must have torn her heart in two because right now that’s the way mine feels. I draw strength from all the times she had to be strong for me and that helps me get through the day.
But in the end, I just want my Mom back, home safe and sound.
Mom, I now know how you felt every time I was admitted and I will never take that for granted or forget that ever. You’re my world. Keep kicking ass and taking names at rehab.
~your more than ever proud daughter
Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash