havehope

I'm done. Part of me wants to curl up and sleep for weeks, maybe until this "crisis" is over;  but there is no end in sight and we don't yet have cryogenics at a functioning level. [I would have liked to say: freeze me, and wake me up when you can fix it.]

So there is a long list of ailments, problems, and issues I have,  Usually, I cruise along in ignore mode. Yet right now I am staring straight at things and all kinds of emotional removal are going on - I have PTSD and when things hit the fan so to speak, I tend to hurt but not recognize the feelings properly, so I have no idea how I am except tired.

I am trying to remind myself I am not finished, there is a lot more to do in life than give up right now. I might be sore, tired, irritable and annoyed at things but I am not finished.
 This [stuff with hubby and his dialysis] may be a new kind of existence coming but it will still be there; it isn't over or ending soon.

I am just feeling the stress, and it's ok. I'm not dying. I will go to bed, close my eyes and wake up for another day, and that day while it might not be better, it will be different.

I am trying to listen to that reminder but also not spend the whole 24hrs in tears or close to. I wanted at this moment to remind other people, who deal with everything under the sun and more:  
You are not finished yet. #believeinyourself #havehope