Journals #52SmallThings #Journal #JournalLife #mybestfriend
I started keeping a journal my freshman year of high school. Of course, I had diaries as a little girl but this was a big kid journal. It was probably through the movie "Harriet The Spy" that I was first introduced to composition notebooks. I started the notebook by writing what year it was established, and maybe the passwords to my social media accounts were on the front page? Each page included the date and that would be it, until, I started decorating my pages with color pencils as if there was a background to my words after I finished writing. I had sharpies-markers-color pencils and made the black and white notebook look pretty lively. I enjoyed this so much. It wasn't until after my high school graduation in 2014 that I just stopped. I had been in a relationship with someone who I describe as narcissistic since 2012 he read my journal a couple of times an informed me of how he did not care for it or what I wrote in it. I stopped expressing myself in words and in art. I stopped expressing my feelings and having that "want" to do so. I may have done a few entries spread out by months, but you can bet that I thought hard about what if my words were read and I sustained from writing certain things from there on out. Diagnosed with OCD, PTSD, and Bipolar disorder I find it doing my therapist a favor keeping my journal. The man I have a relationship with now I could care less if he read any of what I wrote because I tend to express these things to him as well. Journaling is a wonderful thing. Some days my journal is the only one I confide in. Other days it's a struggle just to open it up. And when someones' privacy is invaded in your journal, it can affect an individual. Honestly, it may not seem like a big deal but to some it is!