Journal

I was able to write my trauma narrative without getting badly triggered. I was even able to go into detail. I feel different but in a good way. I feel like I can say to myself that I survived.

I can move on and while I still have healing to do, I have come a long way from where I was a couple years ago. A couple years ago I was scared, angry and didn't trust people. Now I can be happy, feel safe and trust people a little.

I can tell my survival story without it ruining my day (like it would in the past) and I think that is a huge sign of improvement. Anyone can do it. You don't have to share with anybody, just yourself.

Writing is so liberating, it has been there for me and has helped me process a lot of difficult things. I really suggest journaling. I don't do it every day but enough.

I am sharing this with you so that you can see that you too can take steps forward. Stay strong friends:)

#PTSD #SexualAbuse #SexualAssault #Writing #freedom #hopeful #Abuse #Journal #MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

hey friends and fae!
just wondering what your favourite journal prompts are? the brain fog is thicc.

#mentalhealth #Journal #journalprompts #Writing #Healing #progress #BPD #audhd #ADHD

I feel like it’s hard for me to relate to anyone… don’t really have a fandom or anything like that I follow… I’m just not interested. It’s hard for me to get excited about things like I used to ever since my psychosis.

I also feel like I live passively like I’m always the passenger in my own life. It’s hard for me to take control and make my own decisions. When I do they’re not the best, risky. Maybe it’s my codependency issues? I’m not sure. It’s hard for me to find my own company enjoyable, I hate being alone most days but I also don’t mind it as I don’t have to worry about making conversation or feeling uninteresting or weird. I spend my time talking to friends I meet on friendship apps, mostly, trying to foster connection.

I don’t really mind not driving… it’s not having a sense of direction that bothers me, a lack of awareness. I couldn’t tell you how I got here today without a gps. My mom is the same way, even with short distances. My aunt in fact doesn’t drive because of this issue and visual impairment due to adhd. The thought of being behind the wheel terrifies me. I feel I’m not even behind the wheel of my own life a lot of days. I’m scared of responsibility.

I’ve been carried through my traumatic life I feel passively and my family has always been there to support me. I can’t imagine living on my own. Not only cant I financially afford it but also having all the responsibility fall on me I couldn’t manage it. I often feel lost and confused and overwhelmed by my adult life. Everything feels so extremely difficult, even as simple as waking up on time. Not to mention managing bills and maintaining cleanliness. It’s been difficult feeding myself as well, I feel I may have an eating disorder. I dread the prep and clean up process. So I’ve been sticking to quick meals, but also I don’t have much groceries left. So it’s difficult figuring what to eat everyday, especially when I’m in a hurry.

For this reason the thought of having children terrifies me. I can hardly take care of myself let alone my dog. I feel like I’ll end up like my Aunt, who doesn’t drive and is married with no kids. I’ve always thought I’d want kids but maybe I just need to focus on myself right now. I honestly don’t even know what kind of career I’m interested in I feel like I don’t know who I am apart from surviving.

When I’m in critical situations I feel more at ease than regular day to day life scenarios, because of the lack of control I find peace. Rather than having control and having to be responsible. #Journal #Psychosis #MajorDepressiveDisorder

I used to write all the time everyday, then I stopped. My last journal was back in 2011. Then I got into art journaling which helped me but then I stopped. My depression and anxiety stopped everything.

What I'm asking is should I try and start writing again in conjunction with my therapy? #Therapy #Journal #Depression #Anxiety

Oh, my! I've been trying so hard to be an organized person, to have a routine that allows me to heal... and I haven't been able to do it.

Every day I set up my alarm at 8 and promise myself to wake up, eat breakfast, go for a walk, clean, take a shower, journal... and, guess what? I hit snooze, wake up an hour or so later, scroll through social media and finally get out of bed at 10 or 11. I barely eat breakfast, it takes me a whole lot of energy to clean up, and after that I just take a shower and have to cook lunch. After that, I start working and I'm free until 9.

I'm just so exhausted! I needed to get this out of my system. Definitely. #Depression #Anxiety #routine #Work #Planning #Journal

I have been reading through my journal from the past six years and I think it has triggered my depression. I thought it might tell me I have been through so much and things are looking up. But what it really told me is that I have been through so much and things still suck. SMH

The last time I saw my daughter was March 31, 2018, my birthday. I was in the hospital with sepsis and my sister brought my kids up to see me. I haven't seen my son in about a year either. They are 21 and 22 and don't have time to see me, but really our relationship has suffered since their mom left me and took them with her in 2015. The journal brought a lot of that out and now I am even more depressed than before. I miss them so much

If I was more confident in myself I was stopped hiding in my house. For a long time now I have been hiding from people. I only go out and see people when absolutely necessary. My son shots for Us online and goes and picks up the groceries at Walmart so I don't have to go to the stores. I don't even know if I could handle going to the store. So if I was more confident without fear I would break out of my house. #letstalkdepression #Journal #BipolarDisorder