I went to see my aunt and my cousins kids today to exchange gifts. I was so happy to see them. My parents drove but I’m so beyond exhausted from just seeing them.. I’m so over not being able to do anything because my body just doesn’t want to corporate. If it’s not one thing it’s another. I’m so over all the medications I’m on but pills are free and going completely natural is not. #JustNeededToVent
I love the rainy weather, but my body does NOT.
It’s been a really difficult day and I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking down. I feel extra sensitive and extra aware of the fibromyalgia pain today.
The random pains all over my body. Screaming to be heard.
The joints in my fingers feel like I can’t bend them. My elbows feel like they’re being poked by needles. My knees feel tight. My ankles feel like they’ve been stuck under boulders.
It’s as if I can feel the pain crawling up from my ankles to my shins to my thighs. I can picture it traveling, that’s how tangible the pain is.
My lower back and spine feel as if they can’t support the weight of my body.
Did I mention I also feel very weak because I haven’t eaten much today? Because that’s also happening. But I can’t force myself to eat because I’m nauseous and the thought of food makes my stomach turn in on itself even more.
I have a big part of an assignment due tonight but I don’t have the energy to sit at my laptop and research for hours.
I’m just so tired.
I didn’t even go to school yesterday, but I forced myself to come today.
Everything just feels so draining. I keep trying to remind myself to breathe, but even that feels like such an effort.
I’m currently sitting surrounded by friends—actually, they’re more like acquaintances— and none of them can see the pain.
And now I feel a scratching pain in my shoulder. Feel it in my elbow. Oh, and now my toes.
I needed to get all of this out. I’m trying to remember I am stronger than all my illnesses, but I feel so tired of fighting it today. I think the best part of today is that it is almost over. #FibroCHRONICals #BadDay #IsTodayDoneYet ? #JustNeededToVent
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