Unfortunately I have several mental health conditions, Borderlinepd, Scitzoeffectivepd, Depression, Anxiety intrusive thoughts and a wicked suicidal ideology.

.... Now I want to make this clear from the get go.......
Right this minute yes I want to kill myself.
Right this minute I am suicidal.
Right this minute i have means to die close to me.
Right this minute I'm SAFE, WELL and I DO NOT need emergency services to be involved.

Now that's done and said I have persistent suicidal plans, means and couldn't care less about the world✌️

I however have shared this alot of people I'm very open and honest about my state of mind, The masks off.

I've often been called selfish for these thoughts because if I died people would miss me, These are the people who arnt here at 5am when I'm crying myself to sleep, These people don't watch people who arnt real appear and vanish... They don't hear voices that scare us... What is selfish is these people expecting us to carry on existing because they might be Sad...

Do you know how much emotional pain im in?