40 Honest Facebook Statuses People Wish They Could Post Around the Holidays

I’ll let you in on a little secret: despite what Christmas movies, commercials and songs on the radio like to tell us, not everyone is happy around the holidays.

Of course, this isn’t really much of a shock. Yet, we all put so much pressure on ourselves during the “most wonderful time of the year.” We have to buy the “perfect” gift or cook the “perfect” meal. We have to be around family and we have to be grateful for everything we have.

But of course, the reality isn’t that simple — especially if you live with a disability, chronic illness or mental illness. If the world is inaccessible to you, it doesn’t become magically better just because Santa is coming to town. If you have health issues, they aren’t cured by the glow of the Christmas tree. And for people who’ve experienced childhood trauma, the pressure to spend time with family can be like a kick in the gut — especially when everyone else seems to have it all together.

So, to give people an opportunity to get honest this year, we asked members in our Mighty community to share one honest Facebook status they wish they could post around the holidays. If you’re struggling with something this holiday season, you might be able to relate.

Even though you can’t always air your grievances online, we do hope you can be real with at least one person this season. Also, as a reminder, you can always connect with people who get it by downloading our app. We’ve been using the hashtag #HolidaysAreHard to talk about some of the challenges the holidays bring, so feel free to jump into the conversation and even support others who are struggling too.

Without further ado, here are some brutally honest Facebook statuses our community shared with us.

1. “I’m just so tired. Not sleepy tired — physically tired. I need to rest often, I can’t stand for long periods, I need to sit down. I know I don’t look sick, but on the inside I’m just so tired.” — Tina S.

2. “It’s hard for me to do the holiday stuff I normally do because of my cervical fusion and TBI [traumatic brain injury]. I still go see all my friends and family, wrap all of the gifts and spend hours in the kitchen baking. It’s just going to take me longer.” — Liz T.

3. “Dear family: Your abuse and abandonment has made me hate the holidays. All I ever wanted was a family that would support me and love me unconditionally, but instead you threw me away like I was never important and forgotten. I wish I could skip this season every year.” — Kirsten R.

Need to share something honest? Downloading our app makes it easy to post Thoughts and Questions on our site.

4. “This is a lonely, isolating, sometimes overwhelming time for me. I wish people would reach out to me instead of me feeling like I always have to do the reaching. But I don’t want them to do it out of feeling obligated either, so if that’s the case, I’d rather be left alone. It’s confusing and sucks.” — Crystal R.

5. “I need more support now than I usually do. I know you’re all busy with your own lives, but could somebody hang out with me all day so I’m not alone with my thoughts?” — Shayna K.

6. “Because I am progressively disabled by the rarest form of an incurable neuromuscular disease, my husband and I are forgotten and dismissed by family and most ‘friends.’ We had two friends remember us this holiday season, and that made us so grateful. Society shoves us outside of the inclusive joy of the holidays. We just hold to one another.” — Angela D.

7. “Dear family: Sorry I can’t make it to any of your Christmas parties this year. I love all of you so much, but Christmas is a very stressful time for me to cope with. Send me some love and comfort this Christmas. I wish I could be celebrating with you all. I hope you understand.” — Heather A.

8. “I am not fine just because I make everyone else laugh.” — Sandy G.

9. “I enjoy Christmas! I really do. What I don’t enjoy is the constant questions and assumptions about my life. I’m anxious beyond comprehension and being in the midst of everyone isn’t easy for me,, so telling me to smile doesn’t help. It makes me feel worse because I’m trying but the anxiety is overwhelming and the last thing I can focus on is the expression on my face at the moment.” — Amber T.

10. “I used to be a participant but now I’m an observer, it’s not a choice. I wish someone would chose to participate in observing with me for a little while.” — Jo J.

11. “I really, really appreciate all of your invites to meet up. Please don’t be offended if I said I would come and then end up canceling, sometimes on very short notice. I can only do what my body allows and over the holidays I tend to be in more pain from trying to be more social. Be patient with me please I’m not canceling to make things difficult for you, I genuinely would love to meet up but I’m in too much pain.” — Beckii M.

12. “Christmas does not cure depression or other mental illnesses! You might all be happy and jolly but I’m definitely not. Christmas causes me way too much stress.” — Angharad M.

13. “Christmas bankrupts me physically and economically. I’d love to be able to do and give more, but my circumstances prevent me from doing so.” — Andy W.

14. “I love visiting with my family and friends over the holidays, but it hurts me physically. Please be patient.” — Jennifer B.

15. “I have no desire to celebrate Christmas anymore. I used to love decorating, driving to look at lights, listening to Christmas music, but not anymore. And it’s not that I dislike it; I just feel indifference.” — Patrick S.

16. “Sometimes I get anxious just because there are so many expectations this time of year. I push through, but it is hard on my anxiety and depression.” — Christi S.

17. “I am so much lonelier with the constant reminders about family. I miss having family around to celebrate with. I don’t even bother anymore, what’s the point without loved ones around?” — Jennifer B.

18. “Christmas cheer is subjective and while I may love the holidays, I can’t celebrate the same way I used to. I am not avoiding you or being a recluse, I literally just don’t have the physical or mental energy to attend events and celebrate.” — Rebecca K.

19. “Can I please wear pajamas to all festivities and not be judged?” — Jessica W.

20. “Christmas has always been an obligation with my family. So many expectations coming from a broken home, and everyone expects you to run yourself ragged. I almost skipped Christmas altogether this year due to having a major mental episode Thanksgiving… but I am trying my best to push through. Family just expects you to smile and fake it and the hell with everything else.” — Erica M.

21. “Hey everyone! I have not been honest about my health. I have to spend the holidays at home this year. I’m learning how to take care of myself better. I am open to having you come by and visit if you’d like. Message me and let’s see what works for us both.” — Fero T.

22 “We need to stop thinking the holidays are all Norman Rockwell/Hallmark moments. It’s OK to not like them. It’s OK to want to be alone and not have to deal with family that you do not like the rest of the year… Celebrate being a Grinch. You do not [need to] feel like you have to be merry and bright.” — Linda M.

23. “I get lonely especially around this time of year.” — Acadia M.

24. “I wish I could enjoy this holiday, but the pain from losing my aunt still resides within me. Please forgive me for not being joyous on a holiday that’s supposed to be so wonderful, and please don’t hold it against me when you don’t see me for the holidays. Please don’t wish me Merry Christmas as it just makes my heart hurt. Please understand.” — Dayle J.

25. “Please don’t be disappointed in me for missing everything, I’m disappointed enough for all of us.” — Erin H.

26. “The reason for the season is beautiful. However, it makes me an anxiety-filled mess. Am I giving too much? Am I giving too little? Do I really need what I want to ask for? Should I spend the extra money to buy the love of others or just sit in solitude? It is my son’s first Christmas and all I can think about is how much I want to give him. I know he doesn’t understand, but I feel like he knows. This time of year makes me sad. It makes me wish I was a better person. It makes me think my life is ‘terrible’ when in reality I have a beautiful life.” — Shelby P.

27. “I still care about you. I don’t hate you. But it’s hard to visit when l can barely move without hurting.” — Alexis T.

28. “Chronic illness doesn’t care what day it is. I am at the mercy of this disease. The only thing I can hope for is a less painful day.” — Gina T.

29. “Please don’t hug me. I love you but it hurts a lot.” — Heather R.

30. “Having a broken family or mental health issues makes the holiday season very difficult for some. So please be respectful. Not all wounds are visible.” — Katrina B.

31. “I love Christmas and I love celebrating, but I’m always scared of the impact of my post celebration crash, scared I have to cancel plans, scared of letting people down.” — Zoë C.

32. “Please don’t be offended if I need to have a sleep during the party. It’s the only way my body will let me be here and I really want to be part of this.” — Lidia M.

33. “No I’m not doing anything for Christmas. I’m going to enjoy having my own time at home without the anxiety and stress of social gatherings. Just me and my cats and my horses. Bliss.” — Eloise J.

34. “I feel so awful for my kids because I have been physically and mentally unable to do on our traditional activities that we used to do. I mourn this.” — Jennie V.

35. “If one more person asks me about my winter break plans I’ll implode — I don’t get a winter break from chronic illness.” — Margrethe W.

36. “I really love all the holiday activities. Please don’t mind if I seem anxious, frazzled and snap sometimes. I’m really enjoying myself.” — Elizabeth T.

37. “Even positive stress (holiday excitement, holiday activities) puts a huge demand on my body. For every good day you see, I spend many more preparing and recovering. This wasn’t in my plans either, but it’s my reality. The best gifts you can give me are acceptance, a willingness to learn and compassion.” — Bethany S.

38. “Please keep in touch, send me a message. Sometimes I feel so damn alone and worthless. Christmas is hard. I need to know I’m loved.” — Joylan W.

39. “Mental illness does not just magically go away because ‘it’s Christmas!’ Ho ho ho, I’m still Feliz Navi-Dying.” — Vivien R.

40. “Christmas cheer doesn’t remove the darkness I feel in my own mind. Yes, it numbs and distracts, but the pain is still there. The beauty of Christmas is that it reminds me that life is in fact beautiful, even if my neurons don’t agree.” — Alexandra V. 

What’s something honest you wish you could share? Post it in the comments below, or post a Thought or Question using the hashtag #HolidaysAreHard.