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Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting. I'm having a really hard time with the holidays and notice my symptoms with bipolar depression are getting worse. I've tried medications but the side effects were worse. I'm still open to medication, called a new Dr but haven't seen him yet. I'm ruminating big time. I had two situations at work that I ruminated about for weeks and got myself sick over when in reality it turned out I was completely wrong about both situations. Today I opened a gift from someone that was rude and insensitive and I'm ruminating again. I feel all over the place and even though I'm aware of my feelings and trying to deal with them, I was hoping maybe someone who understands could give me some helpful advice. I've pretty much cut off all my friends for various reasons, but mainly because they didn't understand or support my bipolar diagnosis. My family is no longer living and I'm feeling super alone. Thank you for any advice you could give. #Bipolar #Depression #ineedhelp #HolidaysAreHard

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Holidays can be hard #alone #Holidays #lonely #Depression

Here in the UK we have a 4 day holiday to celebrate the Queen's Platinum jubilee. I don't want to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself, but I find holidays hard because I am alone. I have friends who I know if I asked them would include me in their plans and celebrations. But it's not the same as being included without question the way I was when I was part of a family. Sending love and hugs to anyone else who feels the same. #alone #HolidaysAreHard #lonely #Depression


Winter Blues

Is it just me or has this year just flown by? I find when we change over to daylight savings time it has an affect on me, mentally and physically. My husband has always had SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), but I never have experienced it until last year.

I find that as the weather changes and all of the ups and downs with temperatures, it affects my MS therefore I think that’s why I have now have developed SAD. As I progress with my disease, the weather bothers me more physically, which takes a toll mentally.

I’m dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas and having to tell family members and friends that I don’t want to be around large crowds, especially those that are not vaccinated for Covid and Flu. I don’t want to host any gatherings or have anyone outside of my bubble stay overnight in our home. This leads me to my last paragraph.

I read a post on Instagram that really hit home for me. I’m not depressed, I’m not sad, I’m optimistic and have so much hope, but despite this, I’m not happy. All of this is so true. I don’t quite understand it but undoubtedly it definitely has a lot to do with the ongoing pandemic and state of affairs we’re in.

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and I hope all of you stay healthy. 🧡

#SeasonalAffectiveDisorder #sad #msprogression #optimistic #hopeful #unhappydespitebeingoptimisticandhopeful #momswithms #HolidaysAreHard

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Mind-Breaking Monopoly #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ADHD

I wish I could just have fun playing board/card games, but the moment it gets competitive I get overwhelmed and anxious. I always thought monopoly was a slow paced game, but the way we were playing, today, left no time for me to think or strategize, without missing something, AND my inattentive ADHD was in full force, making it hard to focus. I haven’t played Monopoly since I was a child, and they were accommodating to a degree, but it still got competitive, and I let slip the F-word in front of my 8 year old, and my mother-in-law. Then it got to the point that I needed to be excused from the game, because I was becoming so anxious that I was tempted to self-harm, and even had suicidal thoughts. That’s RIDICULOUS! And it makes me even more upset with myself. But I realize that that’s not going to do me any good. I want to get upset at the fact that such a simple thing can drive my brain to such extremes, but instead, I’m trying to self-soothe and calm down, and think of other ways to spend times with my family this holiday, or at least hold space and let it be okay that I can’t be part of the group the entire day, like I’d love to be.

Here’s to creating space for me to just be me, today, without judging myself so harshly. 🍷 (It’s juice, y’all... 😜)


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I AND You are allowed

To Hate Christmas and everything to do with the holidays. It does not mean I'm a grump or scrooge that I'm negative and a downer it's just that I dont want to be force fed "your" seasonal (capitalist) cheer.

Be kind to Eachother- this time of year is traumatizing for so many.
#hatechristmas #truamatizingholidays #HolidaysAreHard #dontshametruama
#truama #PTSD #CPTSD #GeneralAnxietyDisorder #Anxiety

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How do you cope if the holidays are hard for you? #CheckInWithMe

The holidays are always hit or miss for me. I am either overly festive or down-in-the-dumps depressed and feeling incredibly lonely. Some ways I cope are by sending snail mail 💌 and decorating my house early. How do you cope if the holidays are hard for you?

And remember, you all matter so much to me. I am so thankful for each and every single one of you. ❤️

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Parenting #RareDisease #Disability #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Holidays #HolidaysAreHard #AutoimmuneDisease #Undiagnosed #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #ChronicPain #Migraine #Autism #DistractMe #MightyTogether

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Project semicolon

Holiday seasons can be hard on some so as they come up on us please remember you matter and that there are people out there that are able to listen 24/7 if you need them. No story is over; so please make sure we continue to hear your next chapter;

#ProjectSemicolon #SuicidalThoughts #DepressionSupport #Depression #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Suicide #HolidaysAreHard #MentalHealth #Fibromyalgia #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #ChronicIllness #LymeDisease #RheumatoidArthritis