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Why I'm Speaking Up About My Mental Health Struggles

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I cast away my self-aversions, the interjects and self-doubt.

I take the leap.

They ask me why I leaped so far, why could I not take a safer route?

In my recovery, I have lost a lot of what I once loved, or even liked. Not even being able to remember some of the things. The stuff I do remember once liking is not appealing anymore because too much is on the line. Too much is on the line and too many people look the other way.

The world needs to stop looking the other way.

Diving head first into my own head to untie all of the crossed wires. This is hard work I started when I was 10. I continue to do such in the hopes of one day living a better and happier life.

I find my voice, shaking, but I find it.

I make the leap.

So many people are in the shadows and seemingly have to live the rest of their lives there to protect everyone else. This is what so many people do, they stay silent while their mind screams and their bodies quiver with confusion and anger, but they cannot listen to their mind due to having to protect everyone, so they stay silent.

The silence and darkness are very deceiving. Often, you are not protecting anyone, you’re sacrificing your life for their comfortability. The people you try to protect do not realize you have been living the life they don’t want to think about. The others can go about their lives, get distracted, take on new tasks and forget what you are living in. They cannot comprehend the pain you endure daily.

So many people have gone through various traumas and live a confusing, isolating, majorly depressing and anxiety-filled life. Yet, many of these people stay silent because they know what is on the other side, they feel alone, thinking everyone is better off if they live in the dark.

Some people cannot stay silent anymore. Some people don’t want to live in the dark anymore because they have seen a sliver of light and wonder if this is real, is this happening? Can another better quality of life await them?

Some people have seen so much pain. Some people have seen far too many people get off scot-free. Some people know far too many people who stayed in the dark to protect others and got so lost they never made it back.

Some people can see these people hurting in the dark and they know there are other options, you do not have to get lost. You never have to get so lost you can’t find your way back.

Some people want to help others navigate delicate and heart-piercing situations. Some people can’t see all of the others die anymore. Some people are willing to put themselves out there to navigate the rest of the flock to the light, whatever that may be.

It is severely underestimated how deeply words affect others, so I take my leap.

If you feel like you’ve lost all hope, let me tell you, it’s still out there and there are people wanting to hear your story.

Getty image by masterzphotois

Originally published: March 20, 2021
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