I am 32 and was diagnosed with BPD when I was in my early 20’s and again in my late 20’s (29) when I found my coping strategy’s were no longer effective enough and I needed something more and decided professional help is what I needed. I went to a mental health crisis center where I knew I would get the help I needed without the long wait list that always came when I had a referral from my doctor. I had a couple appointments and talked about what was going on with me and received another diagnosis of BPD among the usual depression, anxiety problems.
I have read so many articles and such about how us parents with damage our children and our children should be considered high risk when living with a parent with , we neglect our children and have a negative impact on their lives, it deeply saddens me that I can not find anything positive.
I love my children with everything I have in me, I make sure they know I love them, I tell them about 50 times a day, every chance I get. I validate their emotions and help them navigate different ways to deal with difficult emotions like anger and frustration.
I am so very patient with my children even when they are misbehaving and pushing my every button I know when I need a “time out” to gather myself. I have NEVER yelled at my children and my oldest is 10 in June 2018. I have used my “Mom Voice” (as I call it) when needed when they are misbehaving but I never yell. I believe yelling scares children, it still makes me uncomfortable and brings on anxiety when others yell, when it has absolutely nothing to do with me.
I’m their mother, they shouldn’t be afraid of me.
My children know they can rely on me, I have been to every school performance my oldest has had, even ones she’s not involved in just because she wanted me to be there.
My patience, compassion and understanding has a great impact on my children. They are also very companionate, caring, driven little ladies. My children are beyond smart, I spend lots of time with my children and make sure that their needs are always met. I live on a fixed income but my children have never needed anything. They have always been number one and always will be.
Yes, it’s hard being a mother with , but I do what I can to make sure my children never suffer due to my mental illnesses. I have the ability to compose myself for my children and be the mother they need me to be. I do break down, and I have bad days but my children never see it. They don’t see that side of me and I would never let them. I can control myself until I’m alone, once I get my children off to bed, I will curl up in bed and silently cry myself to sleep.
My children are my motivation I honestly don’t know where My life would be without them. I was in a bad place in life before I got pregnant with my oldest and she was my motivation to be the best me I can be. -finished below