Strong or something
I've held it in so long I don't know how to let it out. The last 10 years of my life has been unbelievably hellful. I know that's not a word. Lol I just don't know where to start. I know, I will start with the latest and gradually work my way through. I moved into my apartment in 2021 and I met the most amazing guy. We became "homie, lover, friends." When I was sick with Covid in '21, he was there for me. He would come down the hall to visit me often. I would've visited him but he had a cat and I am allergic. So fast forwarding, early December of 22, I asked him what were his plans for Christmas. He had no plans. He said he spent the last Christmas alone. I didn't have any huge plans either so I invited him to spend Christmas with me. We made plans to bring Christmas in together so he was going to spend the night. He came to my apartment Christmas Eve morning and we talked, and laughed, hugged, kissed, and just had an enjoyable time. He stayed for about two hours. He hugged me tight, we told each other we loved each other. Then he left. As the time grew later, I figured he fell asleep or something so I went to bed. On Christmas, I did not hear from him. I know his phone was messed up as well. So the next day, I attempted to call him and my finger accidentally hit the Facebook icon and opened up Facebook. And there was his picture someone posted. They announced his passing away. I just froze. It's like someone had come along and punched me really hard in my chest. I was home alone. All I could do was sit quietly and reread the post to make sure I read it right. I miss him sorely. Today is the first day I did not cry.
#Grief #notgood #depressed