I used to think my thoughts were my own.
Then I had thoughts with no choice but to disown.
All of a sudden, I am my own stranger.
Each intrusive thought one of
grave danger.
Now every little thing appears scary.
The horror of becoming a danger leaves me weary.
And my mind’s convinced if I don’t stuff it deep.
Then that very next thought will
lose me for keeps.
If I never discovered the truth of perinatal ocd.
I really think it would have killed me.
The shame of unwanted thoughts stack into rusty layers.
Now I can only wonder about those ‘other players.’
If BigTech plays a role in my fragile mind.
Making my existing battles rewind.
It’s not fair, these struggles are real.
My very thoughts are for no one to steal.
I pray for the day justice comes swift.
My brain could take a break, oh what a gift.
#Poem #IntrusiveThoughts #PerinatalOCD #Bioweapons #AI #neuroscience #WritingThroughIt