I need help- ten hours later
I tried posting last night
I am still having a hard time understanding what happened but I am not doing well. I don’t feel real. There has been so much that has happened the last couple of years that people truly don’t believe me when I try to get help. I have had to refer them to my therapist to give them the “she isn’t making this up” affirmation in order to establish the belief in my story.
She can’t be my therapist anymore. She switched jobs recently and she doesn’t take the insurance I just switched to so I could finally get my migraine medication covered after over a year of not having it
It’s been years. No one has believed me.
Now people see all of the problems and obstacles and deny me help and blame it on me. I just started feeling safe advocating for myself again but I keep experiencing more trauma.
It hasn’t stopped
It sounds like an exaggeration. It’s not.
I don’t want to be told I will find someone else who believes me. I know that is the case. But what am I going to have to go through to get that person? My rights have already been very boldly disregarded by another agency and I am currently trying to get help/awareness for that. I already have tried to ask for help/access services for seven years. It has caused me unbelievable trauma to just try to access help. I haven’t been able to make progress because I have spent years trying to get people to just let me talk without interrupting me to redefine my reality. Or to tell me how to solve a problem they haven’t fully heard.
I have never felt so incredibly alone. I have never truly been this alone
It doesn’t feel like it can be real
#WritingThroughIt #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #ChronicMigraines #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #Anxiety