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How My Trauma Taught Me Some People Are Worth Melting for

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An annoying animated snowman once said, “Some people are worth melting for.” Most people who also dislike this snowman and his franchise would say this quote is cheesy and meaningless. At one point in time, I would have agreed with them. But now that I have met some of those people who make melting feel worthwhile, I completely understand. Embarrassingly enough, that quote now brings me to tears because I feel the depth of that sentiment in my bones.

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Some people are worth melting for. It’s true. Not necessarily in the self-sacrificial way the movie portrayed that quote, but in a soft, vulnerable way that leaves me aching.

Trauma has a way of changing you. It affects everything. It can change the way you see the world, the way you feel about yourself and it can change how you perceive other people. For me, trauma achieved all the above, but specifically, my trauma convinced me other people are a threat to my internal safety. A string of emotionally abusive relationships left me believing people are inherently unsafe, and you always must be ready to protect yourself.

My trauma left me frozen, encased in walls of ice intended to keep others at a distance. My naturally sarcastic humor gained a sharper edge as I curled in on myself to protect my soft, vulnerable feelings. For so long I lived behind these icy barricades, convinced that was the easiest, safest, most beneficial way to go about relationships. Those walls served me well … for a little while.

Then I met some new people who gradually proved my trauma wrong. People aren’t inherently unsafe. Some people are genuinely good and fun and warm. The more time I spent around these people, the more I wanted to be warm like them. I no longer valued my chilly solitude. So, I chose to melt, and I have not regretted it for a second.

Melting has given me so much. Since I have chosen connection and chosen vulnerability, I have found a new sense of joy and wonder in community. It no longer feels scary or burdensome. In fact, I spend most of my free time trying to find more ways to see these people I have discovered, and I think I have laughed more in the past month than I used to laugh in a year.

Spending time with these wonderful individuals has also given me the opportunity to share what I have learned about trauma. A lot of people don’t even realize what they are carrying is traumatic in nature, which makes recovering and moving forward incredibly difficult. Surprisingly, helping them sort through their traumatic memories has helped me find some value in my own experiences. I feel so proud of myself for the work I put in to grow because now I can help others.

So, as much as I can’t stand that snowman, I have to admit he is right. Letting people in has brought so much good into my life. Vulnerability is hard and intimidating some days, but now that I have found the right people, I can say confidently it is worth the trouble. As cheesy as it is, I have to agree.

Some people are worth melting for.

Lead image via Olaf’s Frozen Adventure’s Facebook

Originally published: February 5, 2021
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