I saw a instagram reel about a woman being asked if she's going to have more kids and with everyquestion she was asked, she stated "I can't afford to lose me again".

"I can't afford to lose me again" hit me HARD.

With our first son I experienced #PostpartumDepression and #PostpartumAnxiety along with some #PostpartumRage . I was diagnosed with it at 6 months postpartum.

2 years later we had our second boy and postpartum depression and rage hit me even harder than the first time, undiagnosed this time around. My patience wears thin with having a baby whose usually always fussy while a 2 y/o is clinging to me and wanting attention, sleepless nights and having the stress of household chores being a stay at home mom.
Some days I want to cry (sometimes I do and days OK). Some days I want to just escape for the day. Some days I just want a bottle of wine and a bubble bath.
And some days I just don't want to have a mom free title for a day. I am currently working through all my emotions and hope it slowly gets better. It's a process that takes time.


You always see comments about mothers who suffer with postpartum issues that read "you need to appreciate having children", "you need to be more understanding with your children", "your children need you", etc...but you never see support for the mothers who are experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety and rage.

Being a mother is hard, but even harder when you're dealing with disorders. I knew being a mom wasn't an easy task, but I also never thought I'd be the one to fall into postpartum disorders. I always thought I'd be the perfect mom, the happiest mom and the fun mom.

A mother's mental health matters.
Don't feel guilty needing breaks.
Don't feel guilty not wanting to be a mom for a day.
Don't feel guilty for not wanting more kids.
Don't feel guilty for not feeling like yourself or being the so called "best mom".

Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your kids.