Postpartum Disorders

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Childhood Trauma affecting me as a parent #PTSD

*TW: Child abuse*
As a young mother, I love nothing more than being with my baby. Well, as much of a baby as a toddler can be. She is growing in leaps and bounds, and leaving this work-away-from-home mom feeling a little left in the dust. I relish the mundane and swallow whole every second spent with her. So many hugs, so many kisses. I cry (see previous post on PPD). As my PPD has gotten more manageable- one thing hasn’t. And that is my childhood trauma of watching and listening to my father physically, verbally, and mentally abuse my younger brothers. Before they could even talk. In a desperate “power” struggle for absolute obedience- he would “spank” them into submission- with many tools and his own hands. Screams. Shrieks. Day and night. My desensitized mother was only able to helplessly look on with me as they were yelled at, hit, and scared. From the age of 6 until I was well into my teens. But it began when they were just babies. Toddlers. Like mine. And so, even though I will NEVER lay a finger on her or ever speak hatefulness to her- she of course still cries and shrieks and throws fits, like we all do at that age while we figure out how to communicate and realize the world around us. How to process all of those big feelings inside of our little bodies (hell - I still don’t know how to do that sometimes). But when this happens on the daily, I notice it takes a role on my sanity. I begin to shake, have my heart flutter, and I don’t perceive the situation for what it really is. I become very sad inside- like an ache. And when she doesn’t stop- it easily escalates for me into a panic attack. How do you cope with these unavoidable things? My fiancé is incredible- he will take her while I process my emotions. But I also don’t want to stay frozen in time with my screaming little brothers every time she has a meltdown. Any words of advice or encouragement? I need to be there for her- and myself. Thank you all kindly. #Anxiety #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostpartumDisorders #MentalHealth

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#Bipolar #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #PostpartumDisorders #Cyclothymia Nighttime Brain Dump

My life is so stressful and chaotic. I personally suffer with #Cyclothymia #Bipolar #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD #PostpartumDisorders #Adjustment Disorder with #attachmenttrauma
I also suffer from #Co -depenency
My current husband has #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder .
My Mom has #Bipolar and My Dad has #Bipolar and #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
I believe I was born as an Angel and a Child of God. I’m Christian. At 5 and 6 years old I was physically abused by my Uncle. At 14 years old, I had to pack my bags and be taken away from my Mom who was #Manic at the time. She has attempted suicide several times by pills. The last attempt was November 2023. My sister, was diagnosed with #BreastCancer November 2023. November is also my birthday month. My best friend, Ashley, died from a head on collision on the freeway from a Drunk Driver, on my birthday, at 19 years old.
I come from a long history of abuse and trauma. In High School, my Dad and Stepmom would lock up food and other essentials in their room. They withheld food from us. I have food scarcity issues to this day. On May 4, 2023 I found out that my Husband of 13 years had been cheating on me throughout our relationship and marriage. I got a Restraining Order for Emotional Abuse. My only child and I were in hiding for about 6 weeks until my court hearing that my husband filed for Emergency Custody Rights and Legal Separation. He filed in the paperwork that I was Unstable, not taking my medication, and supervised visits. He wanted to pay me zero spousal support and zero Child support. We settled out of court in June 2023, the day before the hearing. My husband was an #Alcohoic and #Addiction to bad behaviors. He lied, cheated, and spent money that was supposed to support the family. To say I’m devastated is an understatement.
My #MentalHealth is suffering because I am still in the same house, in the same bed, with my Husband.
How can I go on like this?
I’ve never been suicidal but I’m exhausted. I’m current seeing my Psychiatrist and Therapist for treatment. I’m even doing IV #ketamine Treatments.
I know I deserve better in so many ways. Any ideas or suggestions on how to move on from here? I’m suffering even though I know I deserve a life that is better. 🙏

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Support group interest

Hello, and Happy New Year!

I am in the process of setting up a virtual support group for expecting and postpartum moms. The Mamas Haven will be it's name and it will be held weekly. You can drop in whenever you need support and connection. Who would be interested in attending? Please comment below if you are interested! I will add you to a list and invite you when the group is up and running!

#PostpartumDisorders #MentalHealth #OtherMentalHealth #PostpartumDepression #PostpartumAnxiety

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Tis the Season... 🎄☃️✡️✝️🎅

Happy holidays to everyone!

Tis the Season.. to be careful of stress levels, take breaks from all the hustle and bustle, rest when it's needed, listen to our physical and mental health.. what other suggestions might you add here? 🤔
Have a great holiday season no matter what you celebrate! ❤️

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