Last week Wednesday, I went into psychotic depression. I had so much anxiety about my mom being in the hospital. That same week I had a nightmare about my son that added icing on the cake. My son is 23 and I could literally see 3 years old little Andrew(my sons name) sitting on my carpet playing with his cars. My therapist of course didn’t see him or hear him. I saw black shadows on my wall and one off them got really big. I wanted to walk around my neighborhood usually walking helps my depression. By the lake I saw a sign that said “Drown your psychosis “ that would mean I would have to jump in the lake but I didn’t. My walk didn’t help so I laid in bed most of the time. My therapist and I had two sessions a week and finally I called my psych NP and she gave me 2 weeks worth of 15mg of Zyprexa. I take the last pill this Wednesday the same day I see her via zoom. So far I feel better but some paranoia is still here.