Opinion
Hey,
I don’t really know how to start, so I’ll keep it short.
I went through severe depression 4 years ago. I survived multiple suicide attempts. I saw different psychiatrists, but none of them really helped. They just prescribed medications to keep me stable, calm, and able to sleep (I also struggle with insomnia). I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
2 years ago, after my last suicide attempt, I was admitted to one of the worst rehab facilities. It felt more like a prison. They kept me sedated with heavy meds just to keep me quiet, and the staff were manipulative, heartless, and abusive. They isolated me, made sure I couldn’t reach anyone. My dad managed to get me out after my sister panicked when they mentioned electroconvulsive therapy.
After I got out, I tried to act like I was okay. But I realized that no one from my old life really cared. Not one of the people I used to spend every single day with noticed I had disappeared for 4 months.
I got a job and met new friends who actually love and care about me, and I care about them deeply too.
My family loves me in their own way, I know that…But ever since my diagnosis, they’ve been emotionally pressuring me to “just be okay.” My mom cries constantly, and my dad just keeps checking if I’ve taken my meds. The moment they sense anything wrong, they panic. So I’ve learned to wear this mask..always pretending I’m fine, just to reassure them.
At the same time, they won’t let me live my life. I’m not allowed to go out with friends, work, go to the gym…even just take a walk. It’s like I’m being punished for not being okay before
But the truth is…I’m not okay. I haven’t been okay for a long time. I still suffer from psychosis and suicidal thoughts.
I’ve tried to go back to therapy, but here in Egypt, proper behavioral therapy doesn’t really exist. All I ever got was medication..no one taught me how to deal with what’s going on inside me.
So I’m asking now: would a life coach help? How do I even find a good one? Because tbh, it feels like this might be my last chance. #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth