I've been having such a hard time the last month and a half. I'd already been dealing with a months-long bout of worsened depression and then I started November with COVID, a bacterial infection, and was eventually hospitalized with severe pancreatitis. I'm still dealing with pain from the latter and I will have surgery next week to have my gallbladder removed.

In amongst all of this, I've been dealing with intense triggers that have made it difficult to function. And of course, there's Christmas (thank goodness for online shopping). Yesterday I was so determined to deep clean my living room and vacuum, I'm still paying for it with pain this morning.

But...I did sleep okay last night and, despite some pain, I really want to have a good day. I NEED to have a good day. Everything that's been going on has depleted my mental and emotional energy stores. I was able to cope fairly well yesterday but I still had to expel a lot of energy. I need a day that will bring me even the smallest amount of peace without so many roadblocks.

My affirmation for today is "Own your awesome." I'm going to try to have a good day. Use positive self-talk (attempt to anyway), try to be mindful in what I do, and practice self-care (which is difficult for me). So, here goes...

#PTSD #ptsdtriggers #physicalillness #Mindfulness #Selfcare